Monstrous

Monstrous Café => Mayday! Mayday! => Topic started by: SnakeJefferson on October 13, 2010, 10:42:22 am

Title: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: SnakeJefferson on October 13, 2010, 10:42:22 am
Hello, my name is Snake Jefferson. Quick background: I am an avid vampire hunter and amateur exorcist from Louisiana. I am always looking to work on my exorcism skills so when I was called to the UK by the owner of an old Irish castle to assist in expelling a banshee, I was more than happy to take the job. Unfortunately, due to overly strict air travel regulations I had to leave my Colt .45 back at the office. This was a tough decision, even though I doubt I would need it on a banshee job, but you never know, yeah?

Anyway, cut to a week later, I am in Ireland, inside the castle now on my Blackberry. The sun is just now sinking low, so I thought this would be a safe time to walk the grounds with my intern Ashlee. We were getting the lay of the land, mapping out quit exit routes for worst case scenarios and finding a center point to conduct the summoning at dead time. And out of nowhere a strong, frigid(even for this time of the year) wind gust through the castle walls followed by the unmistakable, ear shattering shriek of a banshee.

I was rendered disabled by the deafening screech long enough for the banshee to fly through the room and right through my intern Ashlee. Fortunately I think it was just a warning, because the banshee flew off into the wall, but Ashlee is now coated in a thick white slime. I’ve classified it as an ectoplasmic discharge, but the castle owner is panicking and has called an ambulance despite my protests.

Ashlee is maintaining her composure, only giving way to short bouts of soft weeping. I am worried that maybe this layer of ectoplasmic slime may be caustic or poisonous. I fear she may have ingested some.

We are pretty far from the hospital, so the ambulance is taking its sweet time getting here. Is there any thing you think I should be doing in the mean time? I have her lying on the ground now with her feet elevated on a rock.

The castle owner idiotically suggested that maybe the slime impregnated her. I immediately shot that idea down. I do not need her scaring Ashlee even more. But I figured I should ask that question too just in case. It couldn’t get her pregnant could it?
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: Countess on October 13, 2010, 11:35:26 am
The typical/traditional Irish Bean Sidhe (Banshee) is a female spirit who is attached to a specific family/property that screeches when there is soon to be a death/disease/injury in the family or on it's property. If it was in fact the Bean Sidhe who came through it was most likely in an effort to stop you from doing its sworn duty of warning the family. Impregnating a living human is not possible for a number of reasons mainly that they are female spirits. Look into other possibilities for what/who this attacking spirit may be. To comfort the family let them know the Bean Sidhe means no harm, it is almost a protector or a spiritual warning system. I will have to look into it more but I don't believe a Bean Sidhe can be exorcised until the last of the family bloodline is gone or the land is destroyed.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: oldbill4823 on October 13, 2010, 12:20:32 pm
Sorry but this just has 'joke' written all over it.

Chances are she will be pregnant and dna tests will show it to be your child with traces of wolf DNA too.
Thats what normally happens with irish banshees.
They are totally up for the 'craic'.

Snake come clean here, this is merely your fantasy gism you are describing.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: SnakeJefferson on October 13, 2010, 12:48:46 pm
oldbill4823 I take my job very seriously. And I can assure you, as I have an intern in the hospital that this is no laughing matter.

I came here for your advice not your approval. If you're a non-believer here to scoff then that's an issue for topics on that subject.

I am asking for help in defeating this specter, what I believe is a banshee, but some of the posts have made me think otherwise. Any clues I can gather to identify the creature are paramount to my battling it. Thank you.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: oldbill4823 on October 13, 2010, 01:01:15 pm
Well send me her full name, dob, home address,  name of hospital,  name of castle to me via pm. I will phone up admissions and verify this. When i have verified this i will come here and confirm to all that she is really there. I promise not to disclose any personal data to anyone else without your permission. I am a former Police officer if it is any relevance.

Then on verification of these facts i will happily confirm to all that this is more genuine than it appears.

I am more than happy to help but i do dislike intentional deception.

Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: SnakeJefferson on October 13, 2010, 01:06:53 pm
One of the certifications I have picked up on the road to becoming a vampire hunter is an EMT certification. If you were indeed a police officer as you previously mentioned, you'd know that releasing that info, as she is an American citizen, would violate HIPAA.

Now please, if we can get past your weak attempts at trolling me at this most classless time to do so, I would like to get back to the topic at hand.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: Muerte on October 13, 2010, 01:11:50 pm
  I will contain myself for the time being.  I am going to ask for your card or if you don't have one some form of legitimate advertisement for your services.  Since some person in Ireland enlisted your aid in such an endeavor you must at least be of some renown.  Also you have an Intern so you obviously have more work than any one person can handle alone.  Also since you have an Intern in the hospital you must offer some form of medical coverage.

  Worry not about impregnation, also (and I am at this time going to treat this as an actual case) you shouldn't worry overmuch about any physical danger.  She is probably simply stressed due to such an extreme encounter.  Wash her up and give her some coffee, she'll be fine.  I will also address the fact that you have to ask for advice on such a simple question.  If you want to endeavor doing such things then you really should have the answers before going out and doing such things.  What if something really serious happened?  You yourself said you're an amateur and amateurs should never dabble in these things without an experienced individual to supervise.

  Oh and why in the heck do you carry a .45?  Use it on a Banshee?  Serious?  You don't defeat messengers you listen to them.  What you need to be doing is asking what Mr. Castle owner has or is up to.  You might find some of his evasive answers interesting.


  EDIT:   An EMT Certification helps to certify you to be a Vampire Hunter??  ARE YOU SERIOUS??  That means all ambulance driver are mostly qualified to go out and battle the legions of the dark.  Gods be praised I myself will feel better at night knowing this valuable bit of information.  Also how does giving the name of the Castle violate HIPAA?  What about the information I am asking for?  Is that protected also?


  I am going to go do my breathing exercises now and maybe even check my blood pressure again.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: oldbill4823 on October 13, 2010, 01:21:03 pm
I am not trolling you. I am serious.
I have huge experience with this but so far you dont convince me.
When i am sure you are not fake i am ready to help. I am live here now on the end of a telephone or email. Currently there are only three of us here on the forum.
All you have to do is give me evidence you are genuine. If you really have someone in hospital what on earth is stopping you? I can tell you tons about all sorts, all i need is a few details before i get going, no charge either. Ask the owner who the oldbill are. I was UK police. Jeez i even give my old number in my username.
Over to you snake.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: SnakeJefferson on October 13, 2010, 01:27:37 pm
Since nobody can seem to let this issue go, and I seem to have to establish myself before I can solicit simple advice, you can find my ad in any recent issue of Soldier of Fortune magazine. I am working on getting ads in several other publications.

I cannot expose my clients name, as that is EXTREMELY unprofessional in any industry(duh), but I was referred to him by a Scottish acquaintance who I assisted in "freeing" a Bavarian village in 2002.

I am not an amateur in the field of paranormal, I have a very high success rate which is why I demand such a high commission. This commission also allows me to offer a very strong medical plan for all of my interns. I normally battle more tangible foes which is why I feel more comfortably with the .45 at my side. I am sorry if you view this as a fault.

My EMT-B certification is very helpful in treating myself and my interns after receiving wounds. I have saved the life of many potential victims of the monsters I combat. Medical experience is INCREDIBLY valuable in this field. I thought this would be common sense, but somebody is always looking to discredit.

I do sincerely thank you for the advice, and would like even more in identifying this spook. In screams like a banshee, and flies like a banshee, but there is definitely something off about it. Dare I say demonic? I am hired to dispose of malevolent entities not act as a messenger service. Sorry.

Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: Muerte on October 13, 2010, 01:31:54 pm
  http://www.sofmag.com/current-issue-2 (http://www.sofmag.com/current-issue-2)

  Show me your ad.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: SnakeJefferson on October 13, 2010, 01:42:58 pm
Why would my ad be in the issue summary? It is in the actual magazine.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: oldbill4823 on October 13, 2010, 01:47:34 pm
what does the add say?
contact details too please

i mean if you feel ok advertising to military, mercenaries, spooks paranoid mafia, teenage  wanabees and redneck retards, surely we at monstrous can see these details too


Any info you give us will be subjected to scrutiny. You want to talk about ectoplasm fine, get your facts straight. Want to talk about the experience fine, same thing, get your fact straight.
Any info you give will be examined from all sorts of directions. Many of these you have no idea about. So far what you have described adds up to a fabrication. The more you say, the more you confirm this.
I am ready to see and believe the truth but so far i dont see it. I see i heap of crap. Everything you have said screams fake snake.

 
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: Muerte on October 13, 2010, 01:56:53 pm
  Firsst off SOF is not that great a magazine to advertise in, sorry you were too dense to understand the reference.  Where is it?  I bet it is right next to the mercenary ad who will do anything anywhere anytime.  Also I am still contemplating calling up SOL itself and asking after such an ad, any keywords I should ask for?

  Here is how real Paranormal Investigators advertise. 

  http://www.paranormalinvestigators.com/ (http://www.paranormalinvestigators.com/)

  REAL

  http://california-paranormal-investigators.com/Page_1.html (http://california-paranormal-investigators.com/Page_1.html)

  REAL

  http://www.ghost-investigators.com/ (http://www.ghost-investigators.com/)

  REAL

  http://www.liparanormalinvestigators.com/ (http://www.liparanormalinvestigators.com/)

  REAL

  SOF, a good magazine for what it is, but as an advertising tool.  Come on, really?  You must have a WEB site, anyone worth their salt who makes claims of professionalism would have more than just an ad in the a fore mentioned magazine.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: SnakeJefferson on October 13, 2010, 02:26:21 pm
Sorry, I am driving back to the castle now, so I apologize for not being able to post the ad verbatim from memory.

Perhaps posting here was a bad idea. This is easily one of the most negative communities I've tried to gather advice from. If I knew I was going to be dogpiled by trolls as soon as I posted I wouldn't have bothered.

If it isn't too much to ask, I ask that you at least pray for Ashlee, if you're not so negative that you're incapable of empathy, that is.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: SnakeJefferson on October 13, 2010, 03:04:24 pm
If anybody who isn't a bonehead wants to help me identify the specter that attacked my intern, please say so. I am going back into the breach, so to speak, in half an hour.

If you're interesting in troll pissing in a pissing contest out of what I can only suspect to be jealousy you can write your posts down in notepad and then send it to the recycling bin.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: SnakeJefferson on October 13, 2010, 03:14:40 pm
The ectoplasmic discharge was coated pretty thick. Nearing an inch since I have to guess, because for some reason you think I have to sell this all to you. It was very thick, it oozed very slow off of her, she coughed and almost choked on it, the poor thing. The guys in the ambulance were shocked and the stench was great. All I could think to tell them was she fell in a swamp. They began cleaning it off at the hospital and managed to get most of it off by the time I had left. She seems fine, but understandably is very shaken up.

I am not familiar with Tom Anderson other than that was the name of my ex-wife's father and I doubt you talkin' bout dat lady.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: SnakeJefferson on October 13, 2010, 03:15:43 pm
Oh... you deleted your post. Ok.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: Muerte on October 13, 2010, 03:28:43 pm
Sorry, I am driving back to the castle now, so I apologize for not being able to post the ad verbatim from memory.

Perhaps posting here was a bad idea. This is easily one of the most negative communities I've tried to gather advice from. If I knew I was going to be dogpiled by trolls as soon as I posted I wouldn't have bothered.

If it isn't too much to ask, I ask that you at least pray for Ashlee, if you're not so negative that you're incapable of empathy, that is.

  Sorry, fresh out.  As for prayer, well I could, but I doubt we pray to the same god.  Also your conviction is sorely lacking if a few simple inquires into your legitimacy can drive you so swiftly away.  One would think you were running out of answers (even lame ones).  I will wish you luck however, it is the best I can do for you.

  P.S. If you are unable how the heck do you think you are going to be able to take on Demons?  They have more negativity than even I  (though I don't fall short on that you can trust).
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: Unholy Saint on October 13, 2010, 08:18:45 pm
If anybody who isn't a bonehead wants to help me identify the specter that attacked my intern, please say so. I am going back into the breach, so to speak, in half an hour.

If you're interesting in troll pissing in a pissing contest out of what I can only suspect to be jealousy you can write your posts down in notepad and then send it to the recycling bin.
       Snake you have to view this from our side of the table. ALOT of people come on here telling stories that are obviously bulls**t and made up. All of that has made us hezitant of posts such as yours.  Do not take it personally for we do not intend to hurt your feelings or bash your 'work'.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: Unholy Saint on October 13, 2010, 08:21:11 pm
Also, I imagine you're thinking "You only have 54 posts... You don't know s**t"  Well I can say that while I do have a small number of posts, I have been on this site for awhile. Listening not speaking.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: SnakeJefferson on October 13, 2010, 08:32:33 pm
If anybody who isn't a bonehead wants to help me identify the specter that attacked my intern, please say so. I am going back into the breach, so to speak, in half an hour.

If you're interesting in troll pissing in a pissing contest out of what I can only suspect to be jealousy you can write your posts down in notepad and then send it to the recycling bin.
       Snake you have to view this from our side of the table. ALOT of people come on here telling stories that are obviously bulls**t and made up. All of that has made us hezitant of posts such as yours.  Do not take it personally for we do not intend to hurt your feelings or bash your 'work'.
Yes, but I came here to ask advice not to tell you the tales of my world travels and moonlit dances with the devil.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: Unholy Saint on October 13, 2010, 08:39:02 pm
And you will get the advice you're looking for. It's just that Bill and Muerte have been hearing damn near the same s**t for a long time.   I personally know nothing of Banshees but if you think that this might be demonic as you said, try posting in the demonology thread.
Title: Re: Urgent! Help with a Banshee!
Post by: Fang Flamedancer on December 11, 2010, 07:45:29 pm
 :focus: I have not had any personal experiences with paranormal entities but I have talked to people who have and I have done research. I have never heard of ectoplasm being bad, however it is also extremely rare and if I am right if you document this it will be the first case in about ten years! As far as I know Banshees are not dangerous just annoying and make alot of racket. However if they are actually the cause of the deaths or misfortune you may not have alot of time to act! so hurry just in case.