Monstrous

Monstrous Café => Mayday! Mayday! => Topic started by: Thirteen on October 09, 2011, 04:25:50 pm

Title: Rage
Post by: Thirteen on October 09, 2011, 04:25:50 pm
I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on how to control rage (or severe  anger)?

I'm going through a lot, and I tend to fall into rages when provoked, I'm extremely irritable, snappy, and tense. I feel that I phsycologically shift into an inner beast while mad (and I mean MAD) I feel my bane prick and I snarl, and I feel an inner strength that I just don't posess when unprovoked. I also tend to have homicidal and dangerous thoughts, very gory and wrong; I can easily contain these urges, but it's just the things that I see in my head that disturb me.

I need a way to relax and calm down.

I'm beginning meditation, but it's hard to meditate when you don't have a peaceful place or it's dark outside. (look at that, its the full moon - how ironic)

Can anyone offer up some quick fixes?

P.S. I'm in several therapies for coping techniques, I know them all by heart, but I need something a little more powerful. A spell perhaps?
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Nina on October 09, 2011, 04:30:57 pm
If nothing works, go see a physician and make take some pills. They can fix that ;) I normally dont recommend such things, but rage can be quite dangerous, not only for yourself but others around you. And, I wouldnt recommend spells for someone that is already having control issues.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Thirteen on October 09, 2011, 04:34:34 pm
I'm on medication to tell you the truth. :/ I've been on meds my entire life. I've tried several.

Nothing stops this.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ViciouslyMe on October 09, 2011, 04:37:08 pm
Yeah, I use to have these kinds of problems. Personally, I just learned to bottle it up and release it in less violent ways, like video games sometimes. I mean, there's more that goes through my head, but it's hard to explain.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: TeteoInan on October 09, 2011, 04:41:13 pm
I worry about ever offering someone tips or advice on objects and spells, because I'm afraid they'll become reliant on the stuff.

Everyone handles their emotions differently, and so unfortunately we can't give you anything to FIX it. We can offer suggestions, links, personal experiences and whatnot though.
For me, well before the pregnancy I put my anger into my comp. fighting. I was in a brawling league... and if hitting the heavy bag didn't help, I'd take a run. A good, long, run. Maybe through the woods. Breathing, breathing helps as well.

Find something that requires your full attention, maybe even something that requires some deep concentration. This can vary for people; puzzles work wonders, I hear... Maybe cooking, cleaning, if you're into that.
Removing yourself ( and of course, if you've been to therapy for this, then this is all old news ) from the situation is always the best thing to do, however if you find that you can't for one reason or the other, then finding a "happy place" in your head is a wonderful next step.
Not so much ignoring the situation, as separating yourself consciously from it. You're still aware of your surroundings, and everything that's going on, but you no longer register it like your normally would. It's an almost on the spot form of meditation.

I'm beginning meditation, but it's hard to meditate when you don't have a peaceful place or it's dark outside. (look at that, its the full moon - how ironic)

Wonderful, that you are!
Can you go to the bathroom? Take some music in there, and take a good shower ( or soaking bath ). I wouldn't suggest meditating in the shower, but can you "become one" with the music?
What about going outside, can you take walks?

There is also finding someone to talk to. I believe my yahoo information is on my profile, and if it's not: destinationinsanity
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Thirteen on October 09, 2011, 04:46:44 pm
@TeteoInan Thank you so much for all of this. I'll try your suggestions. And thank you for your offering to talk to me; if I'm ever in desperate need, I'll know who to contact. Thanks. :)
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: TeteoInan on October 09, 2011, 04:50:17 pm
You're welcome. I may have other suggestions, but I wanted to get something to you fast.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Thirteen on October 09, 2011, 05:46:24 pm
I just can't seem to shake it. I even did the whole writing a letter about how you felt. But now I just want to send it to the people that've hurt me. But that'd jsut cause consequence. I wish there was just a solution.. if only life worked that way.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: TeteoInan on October 09, 2011, 05:49:21 pm
We wouldn't have much entertainment though, would we?
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Countess on October 09, 2011, 08:46:04 pm
Make copies of the letter & burn them. It'll be a simple but quite effective ritual to help let go of everything in the letter.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: LeXtruX on October 10, 2011, 04:58:18 am
try meditating, for real, it works, find your inner "beast" and control it, I used to be in your shoes long ago, before I came here, meditating and will made my rage disappear. Other than this, everything T, Nina and Countess told you are correct as well
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ravinclaw on October 10, 2011, 06:55:41 am
Ive always had bouts with anger. Still do. One thing I would warn against is trying to drink them away. That is a lethal combination. Something I used to do is lift weights, it dosnt really stop the rage, but it kinda slowes it. Its more a way to avoid acting on the urges, kinda like taking your dog for a long walk so it wont chew on the furniture.

Martial arts of any kind is a good outlet.

One thing that helped me with meditation in the begining, and at the time my  goal was to take a clear look inside myself was a dark blindfold and earplugs. Close your sences so they can only go inside. I will warn you though, you may not like some of the things you find.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: AWBrielle on October 10, 2011, 08:17:43 am
I'm with Ravin - martial arts is a great place to channel your energy. There's also this; your medicine could be affecting your moods. Have you been with the same doctor(s) for years? Might be time to see a new one or new ones.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Thirteen on October 10, 2011, 02:01:59 pm
Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I've been thinking of purchasing a punching bag, to let off steam once in a while, or starting a mma class.

Have you been with the same doctor(s) for years? Might be time to see a new one or new ones.

My meds are mood stabilizers. They're good meds, without them I'd be waaayyy worse off. I can't really get off of them now, because being off them would be really bad. But I think finding a new coping method will work.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: jordyn on October 13, 2011, 12:43:06 pm
read, read, study and read some more...

there's an amazing wealth of information on addressing emotional issues, how to deal with them and philosophy and psychology to help your understanding of being human, the younger you are the less control you have over normal emotions, you're human, get used to it.

the glorious thing about this method is you can find books from spiritual transcendings to  traditionally established understandings of the psyche. The more you understand what drives your emotions the easier time you'll have in controlling them, finding constructive outlets for the negative ones and learn a variety of ways and techniques to nurture the positive emotions...

http://marilee.us/desiderata.html (http://marilee.us/desiderata.html)

and this always helps me put things in perspective.  :)
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Thirteen on October 13, 2011, 03:51:40 pm
@jordyn Thank you! This'll help me greatly. :)
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ArcticWolf88 on October 13, 2011, 07:15:56 pm
Ive always had bouts with anger. Still do. One thing I would warn against is trying to drink them away. That is a lethal combination. Something I used to do is lift weights, it dosnt really stop the rage, but it kinda slowes it. Its more a way to avoid acting on the urges, kinda like taking your dog for a long walk so it wont chew on the furniture.

Martial arts of any kind is a good outlet.

One thing that helped me with meditation in the begining, and at the time my  goal was to take a clear look inside myself was a dark blindfold and earplugs. Close your sences so they can only go inside. I will warn you though, you may not like some of the things you find.

I'm not a Martial artist, but I find working out is one of the BEST ways to help control rage. I just work out until I wear myself out, then I'm way to tired to be enraged anymore :-D I've been really p*ssed off lately and I've been working out for 2 - 2 1/2 hours a day for almost a week, AND now I've lost almost 15 pounds *Yay Me!* :lol:

Quote
One thing I would warn against is trying to drink them away.
I SO agree with Ravin!! Smoking them away with pot doesn't help either. Any way you slice it, drugs/alcohol are not the solution...
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Thirteen on October 14, 2011, 05:24:48 pm
Straightedge  :wink:
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ArcticWolf88 on October 14, 2011, 06:57:05 pm
Straightedge  :wink:


OK, I'm a were, and its hard enough to control myself (anger, "drives", hunting-instincts etc.), now imagine a high or drunk were??? Yes, def. NOT exactly a pretty picture as I used to be a major Pot-head, and was getting into heroin toward the end, trust me, I know what I'm talking about!! *<:) I only stopped because my girlfriend and family wanted me to stop...trust me being a high were is kind of awesome, particularily when in a Mental-shift <^>, but SO not recommended and not worth it... :laugh:

Ravin, I'm not sure if your a were/therian, but at least yours was *ONLY* a drinking problem (not trying to belittle it in the least), I drank too (alot), don't get me wrong...again drunk or high (or Drunk AND High weres :doh:), not exactly a great picture... :banplea: Happy 2 years sober to me!!!  :-D
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Nina on October 15, 2011, 04:39:40 am
WTG man! Smart call ;)
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Thirteen on October 15, 2011, 05:03:17 am
Wow! What a recovery! Keep it up. :)
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: TeteoInan on October 15, 2011, 06:45:33 am
Agreed! Very nice Arctic, well done.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ArcticWolf88 on October 15, 2011, 10:48:06 am
Awww, thanks so much guys :-D I can't take credit for it though, for all intensive purposes it was my GF and my Mother that saved me from myself.

Getting off of heroin, pot and drinking was not as hard as getting over the addicting feeling of being a high were. How great is the feeling of being high on heroin and the feeling of shifting, now combine the two and see how hard it was for me to get rid of the "Rush" addiction rather than the actual substance addiction...:-o

I did pay for what I did, I lost some of my great singing voice to the fracking pot. I used to have a great voice that people liked to listen to, Esp. when I sang, now its all deeper and gravelly, and I hate my new voice sometimes, although I can now sing death metal perfectly, so I guess I traded singing Pop and Jazz for Death metal... <^> :gun:
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: TeteoInan on October 16, 2011, 07:00:41 am
You know what? That's something I didn't think of Arctic.

Thirteen, do you have any musical or artistic hobbies? Putting the emotions and energy you have into music or art is a great way to get rid of it. Not only do you have to face how you are feeling, but you're not bottling it up, and you're not hiding it. Communication all around.  :-D
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ArcticWolf88 on October 16, 2011, 01:29:04 pm
You know what? That's something I didn't think of Arctic.

Thirteen, do you have any musical or artistic hobbies? Putting the emotions and energy you have into music or art is a great way to get rid of it. Not only do you have to face how you are feeling, but you're not bottling it up, and you're not hiding it. Communication all around.  :-D

I wasn't even thinking of that when I typed that, but music and art are the best way next to working out for me to control rage is to sing music, specifically Metal and Rap, so I can express my rage creatively... or at least non-destructively... *<:)
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Thirteen on October 16, 2011, 08:15:27 pm
You know what? That's something I didn't think of Arctic.

Thirteen, do you have any musical or artistic hobbies? Putting the emotions and energy you have into music or art is a great way to get rid of it. Not only do you have to face how you are feeling, but you're not bottling it up, and you're not hiding it. Communication all around.  :-D

I do, actually. I'm in a band as a keyboardist (I play at home as well) that usually helps me express what I'm feeling, but after a while I get frustrated. :/

And I've always drawn, but I'm a perfectionist so you know there's bound to be issues.

Funny though, I actually bought a coloring book as kind of a mind-relaxing, no thought activity to do when I'm stressed to give my brain a break.  :-P
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: TeteoInan on October 17, 2011, 02:57:35 pm
Awesome!

Haven't played any music myself in awhile... and I haven't drawn anything new recently. Partially because I'd smoke alot when I did either of those things... so I avoided it for awhile just to be able to quit.
Think I'll be picking the pencils back up soon though. I don't smoke, and I have plenty of hormone changes to deal with soon. It'll help, I'm sure.

I'm depressed, for instance... right now... because I don't have any Snickers Ice Cream Bars... Pathetic, yeah?   :-P
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ArcticWolf88 on October 17, 2011, 03:07:47 pm
You know what? That's something I didn't think of Arctic.

Thirteen, do you have any musical or artistic hobbies? Putting the emotions and energy you have into music or art is a great way to get rid of it. Not only do you have to face how you are feeling, but you're not bottling it up, and you're not hiding it. Communication all around.  :-D

I do, actually. I'm in a band as a keyboardist (I play at home as well) that usually helps me express what I'm feeling, but after a while I get frustrated. :/

And I've always drawn, but I'm a perfectionist so you know there's bound to be issues.

Funny though, I actually bought a coloring book as kind of a mind-relaxing, no thought activity to do when I'm stressed to give my brain a break.  :-P

No shame in going back to childhood once and a while Thirteen...I used to be in a garage band in HS called La Clube Sanguine...I really like singing metal, but I've kind of moved on to rapping more now, I helped my raccoon-Therian friend produce a demo CD, though it didn't do well, it was fun to do :-D Singing is so relaxing to me, I guess the music tames the beast inside of me... *<:)  I just listen to Basshunter, Fort Minor or Three Days Grace and zone out when my brain needs a break...try listening to some of those bands, they're pretty good...I can send u some of my old stuff from HS too, if you'd rather listen to that, before my voice went to pot (pun intended)
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Thirteen on October 17, 2011, 03:33:56 pm
@Teteo I get like that sometimes too. Depressed for no good reason at all. I always try to stay on the positive side of life, but sometimes its just too hard. Sometimes there's just too many factors that get to you.

@Arctic Love to hear it. I'm into most every music.

Sorry if I don't have much to say, I'm in one of those moods again.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ArcticWolf88 on October 17, 2011, 04:17:00 pm
@Teteo I get like that sometimes too. Depressed for no good reason at all. I always try to stay on the positive side of life, but sometimes its just too hard. Sometimes there's just too many factors that get to you.

@Arctic Love to hear it. I'm into most every music.

Sorry if I don't have much to say, I'm in one of those moods again.

@Thirteen - Thanks, I'm really into music too. I love to sing and I can play the guitar (electric or acoustic) and I like Metal, Techno, Latin Pop and Rap...no-shame in having an eclectic/international taste in music  :-D

@ Teteo - There's a reason that my singnature is what it is, its how I keep from being depressed, I hope it helps u too..."...If out of the deepest darkness, comes the purest of light, then we must ask ourselves... Would we know what the purest of the light is, without the dark..." - Me
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: TeteoInan on October 17, 2011, 04:43:49 pm
Haha, my Depression is due to "Spagetti Sauce" ( Prego... Pregnancy ) hormones... and really was because I didn't have a food I was craving... Thanks though.  :laugh:


Depressed for no good reason at all. I always try to stay on the positive side of life, but sometimes its just too hard. Sometimes there's just too many factors that get to you.

Don't think about it in Positives and Negatives... Try and "Step Outside" Detached, Autopilot? If you MUST think about the things, think about them in a Clinical, maybe even Mathematical way.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ArcticWolf88 on October 17, 2011, 05:08:57 pm
Haha, my Depression is due to "Spagetti Sauce" ( Prego... Pregnancy ) hormones... and really was because I didn't have a food I was craving... Thanks though.  :laugh:


Depressed for no good reason at all. I always try to stay on the positive side of life, but sometimes its just too hard. Sometimes there's just too many factors that get to you.

Don't think about it in Positives and Negatives... Try and "Step Outside" Detached, Autopilot? If you MUST think about the things, think about them in a Clinical, maybe even Mathematical way.

Oh, dear God...is that what I have to look forward to?? :doh: (I joke, I joke!!) That's OK, true love conquers all, she lived through addict-me, I can live thru pregnant her...

Congratulations on the being pregnant Teteo! It also seems like a lot of the Monstrous community is having little monsters of there own lately... *<:)

The only way the wolf-half doesn't get included in important human decisions is IF i look at them in a clinical way, remove all emotion and instinct I call it, you know...
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: TeteoInan on October 17, 2011, 05:19:56 pm
Hehe, thankies... and Yes. Yes you have cravings to look forward to. I have sent my wonderful fiance out to the store on numerous occasions... and with a previous child, even my friends have been subjected to leaving at 3am for something because I was genuinely upset that I didn't have it.  :-P

Other than the educated side of all this, I have personal experiences with Therianthropes and anger.
I was married to a Therianthrope of sorts, with a REALLY nasty Beast... One of my current students is having some anger issues, that have directly affected his control over his other half...
and I have taken a few Pups under my "wing" and guidance in the past ( including a former member of Monstrous ) that have had some form of control issue.

I'm no expert, and I know everyone differs... but it seems, that those with an animal half have more of a time separating the two when it comes to their emotions.
It's why, especially with anger, I suggest taking a a breath and finding a different approach to handling a situation or issue. It's the one I come back to, because it's worked with everyone I have given advice to in the past...
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ViciouslyMe on October 17, 2011, 05:22:49 pm
I used to work at a gas station and I can promise you she's not lying. Seen many guys coming in at 3-4 am, one was looking for white chocolate Reese's.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: TeteoInan on October 17, 2011, 05:36:32 pm
Hahaha, that's greatness.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ArcticWolf88 on October 17, 2011, 07:55:17 pm
I used to work at a gas station and I can promise you she's not lying. Seen many guys coming in at 3-4 am, one was looking for white chocolate Reese's.

Maybe I should postpone one of my majors...until this is over...kidding. First hormonal moment today, was 25 minutes ago, was when she was trying to parallel park in front of my parent's house and couldn't do it and started crying/cursing and I had to do it instead (Do you guys, like contact each other or something  *<:))....

Oh, and that got me wondering...since Were's are more instinctual than humans, are the hormonal moments when a female Were is pregnant even worse?

I also wanted to know that in simple terms, if me and here are both Were's, what's the probability that my son/daughter will be one too??? And if they are, what are the chances of Arctic Wolf vs Timber Wolf (both of our wolf spirits)...
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ViciouslyMe on October 17, 2011, 07:58:20 pm
Personally, I don't think it will be worse. Pregnant wolves are about as aggressive as pregnant women, both ready to tear you apart should you make the wrong move.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Nina on October 18, 2011, 02:54:09 am
Ahahahaha, and its a daaamn truth :D
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: TeteoInan on October 18, 2011, 06:16:17 am
Oh, and that got me wondering...since Were's are more instinctual than humans, are the hormonal moments when a female Were is pregnant even worse?

I also wanted to know that in simple terms, if me and here are both Were's, what's the probability that my son/daughter will be one too??? And if they are, what are the chances of Arctic Wolf vs Timber Wolf (both of our wolf spirits)...


I agree with Vicious here. Though, honestly... Normal Pregnant women might be more nasty then a Pregnant Were. Animals don't seem affected by the body and hormones changing as badly as Humans do...

I can't answer this one very well because I never really studied the "Who gets the blue eyes" portion of genetics except for the brief stuff they teach you in Grade school. But, like everything else, I'm sure it all depends on how the chromosomes match up. It's a wait and see... "Mommy" will know, instinctively... like women know they're pregnant. Or know they're going to have a girl.
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: ArcticWolf88 on October 18, 2011, 12:29:41 pm
Oh, and that got me wondering...since Were's are more instinctual than humans, are the hormonal moments when a female Were is pregnant even worse?

I also wanted to know that in simple terms, if me and here are both Were's, what's the probability that my son/daughter will be one too??? And if they are, what are the chances of Arctic Wolf vs Timber Wolf (both of our wolf spirits)...


I agree with Vicious here. Though, honestly... Normal Pregnant women might be more nasty then a Pregnant Were. Animals don't seem affected by the body and hormones changing as badly as Humans do...

I can't answer this one very well because I never really studied the "Who gets the blue eyes" portion of genetics except for the brief stuff they teach you in Grade school. But, like everything else, I'm sure it all depends on how the chromosomes match up. It's a wait and see... "Mommy" will know, instinctively... like women know they're pregnant. Or know they're going to have a girl.

Well then I'll love my Were Daughter, just the same, Lexie already told me today when I asked...I kind of "knew" instinctively that the baby was gonna be a were...I didn't really think the recessive gene, if there was one, would survive contact with my DNA...
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: nick on October 24, 2011, 11:41:10 pm
Rage hu? Why didnt I see this one any sooner? lol
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: Thirteen on October 25, 2011, 12:46:49 pm
Rage hu? Why didnt I see this one any sooner? lol

Do you have issues with anger as well, Nick?
Title: Re: Rage
Post by: nick on October 25, 2011, 08:57:04 pm
Oh yeah I do, it feels good though.