Monstrous
MonsterVision => Monstrous TV => Topic started by: markus on September 18, 2008, 11:44:05 PM
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So it has to be true *<:) *<:)
If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.
If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
It is possible to use a helicopter to sneak up on someone.
A monster can always sneak up on you, no matter how big or clumsy it is.
It's easy to walk through an unfamiliar forest on a moonless night
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
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Natural disasters only occur after the local mayor scoffs at the possibility.
If an expert makes a prediction and is disbelieved, then it will come to pass exactly as he predicted. If he makes a prediction and is believed, it won't happen.
Women's skin and hair can't be damaged by natural disasters, though their clothing can be shredded -- except for the bits required for minimal decency, which are made from completely indestructible fabric.
If a man and a woman meet under circumstances under which any two normal people would instantly hate each other, they will marry before the picture is over.
Deadly reptiles will always attack a woman first, even if she's in the presence of thirty men.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
It's easy to pull the pin on a grenade with your teeth.
An explosive device capable of leveling a large office building will fit inside a toolbox or small backpack.
Potentially fatal attacks are always preceded by a false alarm a few seconds earlier.
A million dollars in cash or cocaine will invariably take up exactly the amount of space available in your briefcase.
The universal medical procedure is defibrilation. Any time an EMT appears in a scene he/she will defibrilate someone before going back home. ER doctors defibrilate all patients, regardless of complaint.
If defibrillation doesn't work, the best way to revive someone whose heart has stopped is to scream "You can't do this to me! I love you, dammit !!!!! at them.