[Anaya]

Get one of the wanna-be-Chris-Angel-ball's https://www.asseenontv.com/fushigi/detail.php?p=294378&v=toys  called the Fushigi Magic Gravity Ball and try that. It'll replace the fountain you lost or you can just have your sibling mail you your old set in a flat rate box for less than $20! Cheep and easy, yes? Keeps you with a familiar set you are looking for.

After my almost... week absent... I am still not sure how to help you exactly. Not as angry as I was before, but still confused. Why don't you send me a PM of your failure, and I'll send you one of mine? Hell, I'll even post my failure after. If I KNOW what you are fighting against (AKA what happens when you fail), I can have a direction to give you. I don't fight fuzzy pups in my psychological side, I fight demons and other spirits who wanna take a joy ride in my body. Daily. Hourly. Heightened emotions causes the fight to kick up and start over again. I am (self diagnosed) bi-polar so this is a constant struggle for me. If not bi-polar, then manic depressive (DIAGNOSED through QTC appointments with the VA) which is very much a handful when the smallest thing (like horrible wording from my husband) can set me off into a spiral decline which means I have to disconnect myself from MY family to try and get a hold of myself to keep me from being a puppet to any puppeteer that may want to saunter up to me and be 'friends'. If it IS a problem, you may have to just take a day away from the family and work on it. Even if that means locking yourself in the bedroom for the day, a bathroom, or just going into the park or woods to get alone. Practice makes perfect and I'm sure if you are use to supportive people helping you and now you have no one, you are going to have some failures along the way and failure fuels a person for success. Like inventing the light-bulb, it takes some tests.

If it sounds rude or harsh, the above, I'm sorry. It's the way I word things when I get like this. Lack of information frustrates me. You should hear what is said to my husband when he fails with information...

EDIT: MOST DELETED

[Azurahn]

No disrespect meant, Anaya but in general you don't seem to be the type of person  I'm willing to work with.

 Maybe its your attitude, borderline insults, speed at which you jumped to anger and the other things, because you were or are confused. 

Whatever it is, thanks for giving the post some attention, your sites were a great starting point for me, but so I don't say something stupid and draw out a potential argument, this is the only response I'm going to give your post.

Countess, the lighter had markings etched into it, and was one of the first zippos the factory in Bradford, Pa put out.

Reflection helped me see me, the fire was this major source of energy to help me regain control. Maybe like a meditation on crack? Scrying for my soul and pushing the hound back?

[Anaya]

DELETED -Anaya

EDIT: Moloch bids you good evening... and is willing to help if at all possible.

[Countess]

Okay, I have a much clearer picture now. Since fire does seem to be a key to helping you maintain control have you considered a small flame tattoo? Maybe visualizing yourself looking into a mirror with a flame in front of it combining both control & focus on yourself. Just spitballing ideas but I would focus on the fire & mirror since they seem to be the most effective methods for you.

[Azurahn]

I considered the tattoo, but I lack imagination so I'm afraid it wouldn't work.

Fire's hard to replace or minimize. 

[TeteoInan]

EDIT: Removed

[Azurahn]

I found a black stone  with a reddish orange almost glow inside it. I'm going to try that.