Monstrous
Monstrous Books => The Monstrous Library => Topic started by: RavenFreefall on September 08, 2009, 02:47:06 AM
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Far from Grace
Given up knelt before thee,
All my faults now you see,
Sitting there picking at my self-esteem
Acting like your so crystal clean
Covered is my mouth so I can’t speak
Hidden in the light, the dark I seek,
Devoid is my heart of all that was there,
While I seek out my perfect pair,
Here I sit, blinded by light,
While I wait for the pitch of night,
Fallen far have I from grace,
So I no longer see you angels face
Weighted are my steps, slowed by despair,
In the journey of life how will I fair?
Not that you would really care,
Cause you bled my love dry, left my soul stripped bare.
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Nice poem, Raven! Very dark. :-)
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hehehe thanks
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Nice poem, like Kube said. If I may offer a little tip, though... Check your punctuation throughout the poem. It will make it much easier to read. It flowed pretty well until the ending.."Not that you would really care, Cause you bled my love dry, left my soul stripped bare." You went from rhyming in groups of two, to skipping a sentence and rhyming the second one. If you want tips on punctuation and stanzas, go read some of Moloch's poetry. He's very good in that respect.. and others. lol.
Overall, a good poem. Keep 'em coming.