Author Topic: Writing from instinct observation.  (Read 3886 times)

Kadesh

  • Realized Monster
  • *******
  • Posts: 2814
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Monsters beware...
Re: Writing from instinct observation.
« Reply #15 on: October 24, 2008, 05:18:21 PM »
 I really liked the end of that one. Interesting way of looking at it. Very insightful.
...The monster in the cage
       Is coming for you...
         9-29-10

Tybalt
  • Realized Monster
  • *******
  • Posts: 818
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Burn... All of you.
Re: Writing from instinct observation.
« Reply #16 on: October 24, 2008, 07:12:53 PM »
Thank you very much, wasn't so sure about that poem. I think I will have several new poems until I get back to my inner peace.
The Dragon of Monsterous.

Kadesh

  • Realized Monster
  • *******
  • Posts: 2814
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Monsters beware...
Re: Writing from instinct observation.
« Reply #17 on: October 24, 2008, 07:29:11 PM »
 Peace is simply a state of mind. Use it to your advantage. :wink:
...The monster in the cage
       Is coming for you...
         9-29-10

Tybalt
  • Realized Monster
  • *******
  • Posts: 818
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Burn... All of you.
Re: Writing from instinct observation.
« Reply #18 on: October 29, 2008, 06:34:36 PM »
I still have your bite marks.
You mark me, you curse me, damn it!
I still have your bite marks.
Iíve been waiting to be rid of you, to long damn it!
I still have your bite marks.
I still have your memories, you still haunt me, damn it!
I still have your bite marks.
I donít back down to no one but for you I gave, damn it!
I still have your bite marks.
Give me all the pain, you gave me your pain, damn it!
I still have your bite marks.
The bite marks of a common whore, temporary, damn it!
I still have your bite marks.
The bite marks of the one I loved, temporary, damn it!
I still have your bite marks.
Damn it, they still wonít go away!
Damn it, they sure as hell donít seem temporary.


Damn it, Tiger's bite marks won't go away. (Btw, thats my kitty if any one didn't know.)
The Dragon of Monsterous.

Kadesh

  • Realized Monster
  • *******
  • Posts: 2814
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Monsters beware...
Re: Writing from instinct observation.
« Reply #19 on: October 29, 2008, 07:07:03 PM »
 Good stuff. I love that you wrote about the kitty, lol. If I may point out one thing... "to long, damn it"  should be "too long, damn it". Wrong 'too', but still great stuff.
...The monster in the cage
       Is coming for you...
         9-29-10

Tybalt
  • Realized Monster
  • *******
  • Posts: 818
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Burn... All of you.
Re: Writing from instinct observation.
« Reply #20 on: October 30, 2008, 04:41:26 AM »
I like how I made it sound like a ex girl friend poem.
The Dragon of Monsterous.

Regina Terra

  • Realized Monster
  • *******
  • Posts: 934
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • The Pink Reaper Raper aka petpet. ;-3
Re: Writing from instinct observation.
« Reply #21 on: October 30, 2008, 07:51:40 AM »
Awww, your kitty cat bit you? That's so cute!!! I like it when I play with my cat, & he gets mad so he tries to grab my hand in his mouth, he never bites down though, lol. :-D

That is an excellent poem.
Gabriel, "Don't kill yourself for it would crush my angelic heart. I love you for who you are and I'm glad I met you. :]"

"I'm going to break him, and there will be blood."

Kadesh

  • Realized Monster
  • *******
  • Posts: 2814
  • Karma: +0/-0
  • Monsters beware...
Re: Writing from instinct observation.
« Reply #22 on: October 30, 2008, 02:51:35 PM »
I like how I made it sound like a ex girl friend poem.


 Yeah... so do I. That was a great twist to throw in.
...The monster in the cage
       Is coming for you...
         9-29-10