Author Topic: Haikus made in a night for school  (Read 3090 times)

Demon_Detective_Leo

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Haikus made in a night for school
« on: June 22, 2009, 12:09:32 AM »
The topic says it all. I made these without trying for my school project I said in a diffrent thread, good luck in finding what I said, and I thought I would share them and hear what people thought.

A hunter waits
The prey comes into view
Silence disappears

Lithium Flowers
Float from the heavens to earth
It collects over death

Trust A key to man
Easily taken away
A lie steals the trust

Death, the last challenge
Its not to be feared or lost
Paradise follows

Time A measurement
Ticks away even when eyes close
Time is only taken

Man living earth child
Born from womb of mother earth
Mother calls with death

Love feeling of man
It drives many to do great actions
Some drown without love

Life is a cycle
Birth, Child, Adulthood, then Death
It always moves on
 I wrote these while listening to a playlist on youtube for Ghost in the shell SAC Solid State Society Soundtrack.
In Pandora's box came out evil, illness, and death which mankind did not know of until then. And at the bottom of the box was hope for mankind.
You know what I would do, if I had my god-damn choice, I would be the catcher in the rye...or should I?

Devinoir

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2009, 03:41:47 AM »
Not bad, detective, not bad at all. They have some grim melancholy which is quite rare in mainstream culture, and they definitely ARE nighttime creations.
You should check out my poetry thread, as we are both nighttime poets, eh.
There is I in every person,
Only long asleep...

Demon_Detective_Leo

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2009, 10:59:02 AM »
I have read your poems and that was a little bit of a reason why I posted mine.
In Pandora's box came out evil, illness, and death which mankind did not know of until then. And at the bottom of the box was hope for mankind.
You know what I would do, if I had my god-damn choice, I would be the catcher in the rye...or should I?

Devinoir

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2009, 01:35:37 AM »
I have read your poems and that was a little bit of a reason why I posted mine.

WHAT should that mean, detective?
There is I in every person,
Only long asleep...

Demon_Detective_Leo

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2009, 02:09:24 AM »
Its a complement. You posted your's so i got a bit of a back bone so I posted mine as well because yours were going well.
In Pandora's box came out evil, illness, and death which mankind did not know of until then. And at the bottom of the box was hope for mankind.
You know what I would do, if I had my god-damn choice, I would be the catcher in the rye...or should I?

Devinoir

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2009, 02:15:11 AM »
Its a complement. You posted your's so i got a bit of a back bone so I posted mine as well because yours were going well.

 Then comment them and tell me what you liked about them! In the Poems of Noir, not here.
There is I in every person,
Only long asleep...

Demon_Detective_Leo

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2009, 02:38:30 AM »
They gave me a back bone to forget what people can say and just chance it. I like them in general but I can't point out detail for detail.
In Pandora's box came out evil, illness, and death which mankind did not know of until then. And at the bottom of the box was hope for mankind.
You know what I would do, if I had my god-damn choice, I would be the catcher in the rye...or should I?

Devinoir

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2009, 02:39:50 AM »
They gave me a back bone to forget what people can say and just chance it. I like them in general but I can't point out detail for detail.

DO IT. please? feed my poor little ego...
There is I in every person,
Only long asleep...

Demon_Detective_Leo

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2009, 02:42:07 AM »
Normaly, I say starve the ego, it builds charactar sometimes if done right. This time, I'll try to feed it
In Pandora's box came out evil, illness, and death which mankind did not know of until then. And at the bottom of the box was hope for mankind.
You know what I would do, if I had my god-damn choice, I would be the catcher in the rye...or should I?

Devinoir

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2009, 02:43:04 AM »
Normaly, I say starve the ego, it builds charactar sometimes if done right. This time, I'll try to feed it

And - thank you.
There is I in every person,
Only long asleep...

Demon_Detective_Leo

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2009, 02:55:00 AM »
No problem
In Pandora's box came out evil, illness, and death which mankind did not know of until then. And at the bottom of the box was hope for mankind.
You know what I would do, if I had my god-damn choice, I would be the catcher in the rye...or should I?

Devinoir

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2009, 02:57:24 AM »
There is I in every person,
Only long asleep...

Demon_Detective_Leo

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2009, 03:04:14 AM »
Yes?
In Pandora's box came out evil, illness, and death which mankind did not know of until then. And at the bottom of the box was hope for mankind.
You know what I would do, if I had my god-damn choice, I would be the catcher in the rye...or should I?

Devinoir

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #13 on: June 23, 2009, 03:05:59 AM »
There is I in every person,
Only long asleep...

Demon_Detective_Leo

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Re: Haikus made in a night for school
« Reply #14 on: June 23, 2009, 03:12:02 AM »
It does. Do you have a title that you liked to be called by?
In Pandora's box came out evil, illness, and death which mankind did not know of until then. And at the bottom of the box was hope for mankind.
You know what I would do, if I had my god-damn choice, I would be the catcher in the rye...or should I?