[Andrea Warfare]

Ok,this is my first attempt so please bear with me.This is from the perspetive of the average miserable middle-age american...

Living and Dying.
Breathing and Crying.
You say all good things must come to an end.I don't want them to. I don't want to be another tool working for the Man.
It's Corruption.
It's Confinement.
It's Condemning.
Condemned to die in modern day slavery. Does anyone care? No,they show no pity. I need to find another way. Something that offers more than meager pay.The rich get richer and I grow weaker. I'm Breaking my back these binding chains won't give any slack. I tighten these every day with each mistake I make and now its far too late at my age to go back. Why did I listen to what everyone told me?I regret so many opportunities I never took and now I am 40. Why did I honk my carhorn at those kids on the street, they looked so joyful, so free. I've made the same decisions my parents made and now I'm just as unhappy as a heterosexual in a gay parade. I've got two kids and they are now  fashioning their binding chains.One day they will grow up to feel my strain. They'll spend their days in front of the television screen. Compliment their wives on the nightly cuisine.They will live out the same pattern I have day after day,work eat sleep fark. work eat sleep fark. work eat sleep fark... and no play in sunny days.They will dig themselves a financial grave and pray to the Lord every sunday the government won't take their house away.Consuming more than the average bear they make up the population of obese americans and ask for another aclaire.They won't pay any attention to the war overseas. They won't think of the innocent being put on their knees. Instead,they pick up the latest zine and gossip about the celebrities."Oh my God, Michael Jackson is dead"! Yet, they won't shed a tear for the children he misled.These binding chains are choking me to death. I am in debt over my head when I die nothing good will be said I was that rude woman in the shopping cart aisle I dint wanna look up and give you a smile now I realize that all I cared for will not go with me in death and I say this to you so you can save yourself while you have the chance.

[Andrea Warfare]

WHY WAR?

Why do they have to die?
Why do they not question why?
Why does everyone hate?
Don't they realize we share the same fate?
When will your time come?
Will your life flash before you when staring down the barrel of a gun?
When it does,will you regret the things you've done?
Through these eyes,I've see the love and hate.Laugh and Cry.The truth and lies. The epitomy of our country's  demise.We kill eachother like pawns in a game. Enemies of war looked at as a different race.There is a special place in Hell for those who organized this facade.
A lifetime of absorbing knowledge in college yet they regress in a decade.One step forward two steps back. They have their masters degrees and phd's yet feel no passion and attack.
Why can't we live in harmony?
Why is it that all I see is Anarchy?
What is this unholy Treachery?
This is War and we're not free
We may have won the battle but it's a dark stain on our history.

[Devinoir]

Free verse, a bit of simple rhyming, plain and nice.
I don't know, I'd say I like it.

[Andrea Warfare]

Thanks,I really appreciate you saying so

[Andrea Warfare]

Thank you
I've noticed that with the lines all bunche up it doesn't flow as well and isn't very reader-friendly. Thanks for the constructive criticism,I value it. Keep it coming!

[Andrea Warfare]

+++++++++++++
Natural Order
+++++++++++++

Stormy Waters

Serene Pond

Weeping Willow

Whispering Fawn

Secret Sands

Setting Sun

Evolution undergone

Tadpole to frog

Teradactyl to crane

Forlorn raptor to strike again

Adam and Eve

Anaconda and mouse

Preying Mantis and her mate

The Dominatrix seals his fate

Centipede orange glow

Circling Vultures seen from below

Fearful Mole wrapped in night

Survival of the fittest chose to spite

Amoeba One celled thing

Asexual doesn't need a fling

Amazon consists of a species ring


Circle of Life as in the Lion King

[Kadesh]

 The first two were my favorite by far, but you're right, they aren't very reader friendly. Try breaking them up and checking for correct punctuation. That will help with it a LOT. Trust me. I've written something before and not been happy with it. Then, after hitting enter a couple times and breaking it up... BAM! Perfect. (to me anyway. Just because someone criticizes or critiques your work, doesn't mean there's anything 'wrong' with it. A work can be perfect in the artists eyes and complete chaos to the world.)

[Andrea Warfare]

Umm actually this shouldn't even be up I requested for it all to be removed.These are the rough drafts they are much more reader friendly,however,I don't want them up for the world to see. Can someone move these as well/delete?Thanx Kadesh

[Kadesh]

 You made the topic... you can delete it. Just look for the button at the bottom of the page when you're viewing this. And if they aren't supposed to be seen... why did you ask me to have a look in my poetry thread??

[Andrea Warfare]

I don't see the button and I don't recall asking you to have a looksee but hey its ok whatever. If you look in the editors room you'll find all the finished works I've done.If ya wanna take a look at my work I'd suggest that you look at the finished products,:-)

[ravinclaw]

I dont get down here to the library very often, but when I do, I always find something that I like.

Great work Andrea, I like them all, but the first is my favorite, Im not middle aged, but I can defanatly relate to what your saying......real life man...what a bumer.

[Andrea Warfare]

Hey Ravinclaw,thanks for sharing
The 1st is my favorite too. Yeah life is a bummer if ya let it suck ya in

[Kadesh]

I really like it.
Very deep and yet so simple
I wrote some more if ya wanna give mine a looksee!?!

http://www.monstrous.com/forum/index.php/topic,7751.0.html

 You asked in my poetry thread when you commented on my poetry. And why is it in the Editor's thread??

[Devinoir]

That's where all removed topics end up. That is, when you remove them and then post in them.

[Kadesh]

 I'm so confused. How can you remove it and then post in it...?? When I removed my previous poetry threads, they were just gone.