[Angelus]

I have recently started writing poems. Very unlike me. Im not realy the "emotionaly available" type, or so my exes tell me. Its short and it doesn't even rhyme, but here goes. Please comment. And be gentle people. Its my first time. lol

This feeling is love, it is lust, it is need and want.
But it has fury and anger that is raw and unforgiving.
It can lift a grown man to the hight of the angels,
and with as little as a word drop him through the depths of hell.
Its pure with its sin and sad with its joy,
but most of all, it is mine.

[KubeSix]

Moon's right it's good. I liked it a lot. It's much more difficult to make a good poem without rhyming, in my opinion, since you can't catch the reader's attention as easily as with rhymes, so congrats!

[Angelus]

its very good! keep them coming! in my opinion, rhyming limits the emotion put into it because you have to mold it to fit a pattern. :/
i write poems as well, most rhyme but my best are ones that are more along the lines of me thinking aloud......ill share them with you sometime

Thanks. That would be nice.

Thanks to everyone who commented. You made an old man very happy. Im only 23 but Im sure theres a happy old man out there somewhere.

[Andrea Warfare]

That's really good. I also like that it doesn't rhyme.

[Kadesh]

 I have an opinion, Miyako..... You need to make your own poetry thread and post it there. This thread is for Angelus' poetry.


 Angelus... Poetry doesn't have to rhyme to be poetry. You did a great job for your first poem. The meter is more important than anything else, and yours hit the right spots, especially at the end... the way you ended it off meter made it more dramatic. Keep them coming. 

[Angelus]

Thanks. I will put a few more up. 

[Kadesh]

 You should. I think you'll find that the more you write, the better you'll get. And let me know if you want to be critiqued... not everyone appreciates it.    (I personally love it. I just wish more people would and that we'd actually discuss the poetry written, not just say good job.)