Dead... And Not So Dead > Near-death experiences

Blatant disregard to common sense

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Mr. Kreepy:
I am a person that has a severe lack of a survival instinct. The most fun I've had in my life is when making ridiculously bad judgement calls that could potentially, and most probably, get me not just killed, but totally mangled in a cartoonish fashion. I've had so many "near-death experiences" that I stopped keeping track when I pissed off a feral dog while wearing nothing but pink plaid boxers and combat boots in the middle of the night and had to run straight through town to escape it. I was 11.
I know for a fact that I'm most certainly not the only one in the world like this. Thinking about it, I had a nagging feeling that there were others here like me that piss in the face of death and proceed to cackle with manic glee.
That's what this thread is about. Give your stories about doing ridiculous things that, without insane skill, good timing, or sheer luck, would have gotten you killed.

Ok... There is no way I can let this thread die! It just has way too much poential to be funny!

I have instinct and there was only one time I ignored and it was a harsh person result, but I have ignored my common sense before.

I stared down a gun.
Got shot.
I refused to go to the hospital.

Not much, but damn, this get this funny show on the road!

 Sorry... my little brain always goes "what if" and I don't do whatever totally retarded thing I'd planned on. Unless it's when I really want something or really want to do something. Then nothing in hell or on earth can stop me. :-)

I crossed the street once while I was drunk and an incoming car barely missed me by inches. At that point of course, my booze addled brain was simply too wasted to understand the significance of what had just happened.

Mr. Kreepy:
Would it be inappropriate for me to say that I'm not at all surprised that you would do something like that? :grin:


As far as near-death experiences, I don't know if this next one qualifies, but I sure as hell thought I was gonna die, so if anyone thinks this is off-topic: suck me.

So, earlier, I decided it would be a good idea to pull off some ridiculously crazy 300-esque battle move right here in my computer room. Well of course it didn't freakin' work, and me flying through the air like the MIGHTY SPEAR OF ARES ended up with me hurtling toward the floor like the MORONIC KLUTZ OF DEATH. So I decided to pull off some suave, slick move to recover from this idiotic move, in order to impress the audience that I like to imagine was watching this whole thing. So, falling to the floor, I put my arms out and push out, hurling my weight up and trying to do some sort of flip or something. Well, again, of course that didn't work the way I wanted it to. As I was in the air, I thought to myself, "I probably should have put more thought into this, because I just realized that I don't know how to do a flip." So I ended up landing in the most painful position imaginable, and along with the enormous gash in my leg, I'm pretty sure I pulled a few muscles and gave myself a minor concussion.

Of course, being the suicidal idiot I am, I'll just do something like this again tomorrow.


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