Monstrous
Monstrous Café => Idle => Topic started by: Finrod852 on February 16, 2013, 05:20:57 AM
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Good morning all! Hope all is well. I have many humorous stories, and jokes to tell. Please feel free to use this page to vent your funny bone with jokes of any age. I always find laghter incredibly sublime, and guess what, it doesn't even have to rhyme! :D
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The Poem That I Wrote
This is the poem that I wrote
These are the words that are in the poem that I wrote
This is the mouth that's saying the words that are in the poem that I wrote
This is the person who has the mouth that's saying the words that are in the poem that I wrote
This is the audience that will do anything to shut up the person who has the mouth that's saying the words that are in the poem that I wrote
This is the forum that tortures an audience until they will do anything to shut up the person who has the mouth that's saying the words that are in the poem that I wrote
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Subject: A Laugh with Finrod
I have a friend named Judy, and she started her own religious movement. It's called Judy-ism!
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Subject: A Laugh with Finrod
I just got my haircut last weekend. I realized that no one is ever happy with what they have. There are people with straight hair who want curly, people with curly hair who want straight, and bald people want everyone to be blind. It reminds me of when I saw my old barber, Mr. Schwartz two months ago.
[Me]: Mr. Schwartz, could you make my hair short on one side and on the other side make a zig-zag and on the back just put a few bald spots.
[Schwartz]: Now Finrod, you know I can't do that.
[Me]: Really Mr. Scwartz? You did it last time.
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Subject: A Laugh with Finrod
I just bought this new cologne. It's $35 an ounce and it's called "Perhaps". $35 an ounce, it should be "Positively"!
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Subject: A Laugh with Finrod
When it comes to dating my mother always told me to remember that honesty is very important. It must be avoided at all cost. But my father always told me to always be honest with my girlfriend. I asked him if I should tell her that I've never seen or read any of the Twilights and he said, "Oh hell no! Take that to your grave."
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LOL that is so funny :laugh: :laugh: :-P
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Subject: A Laugh with Finrod
I just bought this new cologne. It's $35 an ounce and it's called "Perhaps". $35 an ounce, it should be "Positively"!
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Lol
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'Splain somthin to me Lucy! Haha :laugh:
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(An observation: surely you meant "craziness" not "crazyness." )
I recall a witticism - heard at Crystal Palace in 1881, as my memory serves - that has often tickled me:
"Oh, mummie, theres a strange man upstairs kissing nurse!"
"Don't tell stories, you naughty child." said the mother.
"But it's true, mummie, it's true!"
Phyllis waited till her mother was half-way up the stairs, then she called out, "April fool mummie! It's only daddy."
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Yeah, sorry. I was a little flustered when I wrote the topic. Woohoo! Way too much stuff to do. :embarassed:
That's really funny! One of my friends from junior high did that to his parents once. LOL It was hilarious. :laugh:
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Subject: A Laugh with Finrod
*chorus*
Hava Nagila
Hav Two Nagila
Hav Three Nagila
They're pretty small!
(A short parody of the traditional Jewish folk tune: Hava Nagila)
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Subject: A Laugh with Finrod
Yesterday I went out to play golf at Discovery Green and I actually hit a birdy... and a ducky and a fishy! :-P
Did you know that when you watch golf and you play it back in slow motion, there's no difference?
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Subject: A Laugh With Finrod (Suplimental)
I jusst watched the Oscars last night, or as I like to call it "The Dress Competition"! All of my friends yesterday were joking with me, asking me "Who are you wearing?" And of course I'm just thinking, "You people are sick! That's a really bad felony, killing people and/or designers for their skin and wearing them!" Honestly, where do my friends get these macabre ideas!? LOL
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Subject: A Laugh with Stephen
Ok, so I went to Starbucks this morning for a cup of coffee, then the clerk said "That'll be $4.95" and I was like "Keep the coffee! That just woke me up!"