Alien Buster

Started by Desdemone, October 27, 2003, 03:04:49 PM

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?

Heidi Hollis!

Think I'm kidding? Listen.

Hollis is author of the UFO tell-all "The Secret War" and founder of the UFO/paranormal discussion group UFO2U, which meets on the third Saturday of each month at the East Library on North Ave. She has, among a number of other things that might seem difficult at first for a reasonable person to believe, single-handedly chased eight aliens out of her apartment. Sort of.

UFO2U


Photo/Benny Sieu
Members of an informal discussion group, UFO2U, meet the third Saturday of each month at the East Library, 1910 E. North Ave.



Here's what happened:

One night Hollis wakes up and hears some funny noises in her apartment. She looks around and finds two aliens - they were about 4 1/2 feet tall, gray, dome-headed, pencil-necked, slope-shouldered, big black eyes - examining her bookshelf. There are a couple more in the kitchen. There's two in the closet. Two more go scampering into the the bathroom.

Hollis gives chase. She shoves open the bathroom door, knocking one of the aliens to the floor. She grabs the other by the front of its whatever and gives it a good shake. The poor thing starts trembling like an Elvis impersonator. Hollis feels sorry for it. She feels like maybe she should get it a cookie or something.

The one on the floor has got its arms up like it it expects Hollis to stomp it to smithereens. It's one of those shape-shifters, and it tries to trick Hollis by shifting into the shape of her cousin.

It's a pathetic maneuver. The alien's idea of what Hollis' cousin looks like is apparently based on an old photograph in which Hollis' cousin is still a child, has an Afro and is wearing a blue suit that Hollis' real cousin hasn't worn in years.

The aliens regroup, and Hollis is rendered unconscious. She wakes up in the morning, snug in her bed. The aliens are gone.

"Those sons of a gun," Hollis says she said.

Think that's funny? Listen.

You wouldn't think that was so funny, Hollis says, if you've been abducted by unfriendly aliens that (for reasons I personally can't fathom) have employed technologies beyond our imagining to cross solar systems, if not galaxies, just to poke a few probes into your private areas.

Hollis is quick to point out that, while the media seem to focus on these negative encounters with aliens, not all extraterrestrials are bad.

The world, she says, teems with other-worldly beings eager to lend a helping hand, or whatever it is they may have at the end of their arms, if they have arms.

It's a comforting thought.

agreed i think it is comforting to know that aliens arent always saying "take me to your leader" or tring to vaporize us. I think that if we should ever encounter an alien we should treat it kindly almost as if it where a small lost child, and also treat it like a important embasidor.( maby ask if it wants to learn or already knows earth english) But as i was saying im just glad there nothing like the independence day aliens. (thinking there so much better and not afraid) then again we should give them no reason to hate or fear us, who knows maby they'll be the key to escapeing earth some day, but what i do know is that were not alone!