my zombie tale

[doomXL]

my own attempt at writing. i am currently thinking about making one about a vampire in new york. so yes i am thinking of a suiting ending and i might make more chapters if you wish. hope you like =]
                                                 
                                      silenti etc orior oriri ortus
                       [the dead rise]

It was a nice sunny day in suburban Texas, Unless of course you counted the zombies swarming throughout the world threatening to destroy all of mankind. Then it was quite a bad day. It really all depends on how you look at it. Anyway, it was a good day [give or take a few million zombies] and Kevin Smith woke up to find a zombie staring down at him idly. Zombies [or the Italian  name Zom-bies] had overrun the earth. In fact it has been overrun for exactly 4 months 3 days and 36 minutes. So back to the story. Austin Smith woke up to find a zombie staring down at him. This was odd since he was sure he had locked the house up for the night. Kevin Smith, a short, heavy man around 40 got up and staggered around the zombie to the kitchen where he had the weapons. It was ironic that the one night he forgot to sleep without a weapon a zombie should appear. But this is life and as a close friend once told him "s**t happens". Once he got to the kitchen he grabbed his meat pounder and knife then  clobbered as quickly as possible [which for him was slower than you might think] to the zombie which was making his way to the kitchen why all this was transpiring. He slowly made his way through the house till he was behind the zombie. He slowly raised the pounder as not to alert the ghoul
[which already knew he was there but to slow to turn around] and quickly brought it down on the zombies skull which cracked and left part of the brain exposed. the Brain was grey with black spots which formed after the solanum [the zombie virus] had rotted away the frontal lobe and mutated the back making it non dependant on its organs such as its heart, lungs, and intestines which is why you can only kill it by destroying the brain. By this time the undead assailant had turned around and made an attempt to grab by raising his right hand at Mr. Smith  who thinking fast got out of the way and smashed through the arm breaking bone and tearing muscle leaving the arm useless.  He quickly took the knife out and brought it down into the corpses brain leaving a gash then repeated the process three times. The ghoul fell to the floor twitching its diseased ridden saliva dripping onto the floor forming a puddle on the ground.

[Thundergod]

i like the irony in it. but i think if you edited it and changed some words it could flow better.

[Moloch]

and Kevin Smith woke up to find a zombie staring down at him idly. Zombies [or the Italian  name Zom-bies] had overrun the earth. In fact it has been overrun for exactly 4 months 3 days and 36 minutes. So back to the story. Austin Smith woke up to find a zombie staring down at him. This was odd since he was sure he had locked the house up for the night. Kevin Smith, a short, heavy man around 40 got up and staggered around the zombie to the kitchen where he had the weapons. It was ironic that the one night he forgot to sleep without a weapon

Ok, first off - Is your character's name Kevin, or Austin?

Second, in your sentence here: "It was ironic that the one night he forgot to sleep without a weapon" , you should actually say 'with' a weapon if he's going to be forgetting it.

All in all, well done. Those were the only glaring errors. The rest are all grammatical in nature and minor.

[doomXL]

thank you i will get right on that