I very rarely get nightmares, but when I do, I've noticed that nothing bad is happening to me (unless you consider me turning into a bloodthirsty monster). Rather, bad things happen to people I love or worse, innocent people in these nightmares. The worst ones are the ones when I am the one inflicting harm on others. This is a recurring dream I have every once in a while. But the fact that I had the dream itself doesn't scare me as much as the fact that I enjoyed it.
I was on a bus - a big yellow school bus with lots of people. Why? I have no idea. I don't ride a bus to school. And it wasn't just kids on the bus either, though there was one kid (like age 10-12) smoking. I got on and sat next to the kid and he thought I was just some goody two shoes and left me alone, which shouldn't bother me - that's what I like to let people think. But it did bother me. I thought, You don't know me! as he rolled his eyes and turned around to talked to some friends.
This lady I know (and don't dislike, I assure you!) was sitting on the bus too, just across and up from me. (You know how bus seats don't line up exactly?) I saw her out of the corner of my eye, but ignored her until her white-gloved hand suddenly caught the corner of my eye as she moved it upward and I struck at it, not even thinking. Her hand blossomed with bright red blood, saturating her blood as she yelped and grabbed it with her other hand. I stared at it in disbelief and horror, wondering why I had done it, but the blood... the blood excited me.
It wasn't long before I was upon her again. The rest of the dream remains a blur, but the most vivid part is the feeling I had - intense excitement over killing, feeling the blood in my mouth, warm and dripping, ripping people's flesh apart with my teeth and bare hands...murdering... I can still feel that excitement now when I think about that dream. Every time I think about it, I recall my excitement as I killed, especially the blood... Not like I was a vampire or anything and I wanted to drink it, but it was warm, and salty...and it...it was the rush of the kill I guess, that's how one of my friends described it, but it was more....
I am honestly scared by this dream. I'm not one to be scared easily. But I killed innocent people...and to know that I would do it.... I know I would. I have to stop myself. I don't constantly think about it, but the urge is always there. Even remembering the dream now, I feel the excitement and revelation of how amazing it felt to kill, with warm blood all over my face... It's not like I wanted to necessarily drink it, like a vampire, but it excited me - it ignited the blood lust within me - the urge to kill. Not with a gun or poison or any clean means either. I killed like an animal.
I know for a fact that I am pure human. That does not factor into this dream, although I do have some regrets about being human. I do wish for immortality - not crazy-like. Not like all the legends of people who do crazy things to become immortal. I very much dislike my race for many reasons - ignorance, stupidity, selfishness, frailty, etc, but I do not think this dream has much, if anything, to do with that.
