"An Old Friend " short (very short) story

[R.L.crowley]

An Old Friend


Hello again, my friend. Said the man. Hello. replied a faint blood curdling voice out of the darkness. You don't belong around here, anymore my old friend, this is no longer the place for you. A flash of blue shone into the dark forest. A tall figure was quietly humming a tune that was utterly familiar to the man. The tune he sang to his daughter every night before bed. His friend used to sing the song to her when her father was away. The figure told his old friend not to worry about his daughter. He said "Oh, my good friend, you were so good to me, but now you mock me. You will pay, ill make sure of that. There ain't a way you can get out of this now. Nor can your little one.....I got out my friend. 4 weeks ago. i tracked you down. i know where you live. I know where your precious wife and daughter are. Ill bet you don't. HA HA HA HA. I'll admit you got me good. But now the jokes on you and your beloveds are with me in my place now. Upon saying this The tall man vanished into the darkness and a large crow flew overhead. The man immediately called the police. He went back home, and just like the tall man said his wife and daughter were missing from their beds. He suddenly realized that a bone chilling terror came over him like a sickness. He no longer could control his emotions, He broke down and wept. The police did not think too highly of this man because he was the man that previously called because someone broke into his house. It turned out that his wife dropped a glass of water on the floor, but the police had to take him seriously because if he wasn't lying than it was very serious. He told the police every detail from the man appearing up until the crow cawing overhead. The police definitely didn't believe him now because the man that he claimed took his family died in prison 4 weeks prior to this event. The tall man's name was Abraham Baker. Baker was an alcoholic for 14 years until one day at a party with about 40 friends he flipped out and killed his own, beloved wife. She was found a day later in a bathroom at a hotel the couple was staying at. She was beaten and strangled with a base ball bat and a rope. No one but his own friend confessed any knowledge of the crime to authorities. His dearest most loved friend, Jack Rodgers. He was an accomplished writer possessing 3 published novels. He told on his friend. His friend was sentenced to life without parole. While in prison for a year he was not doing well. He had strong emotional problems and intense depression. He had an incredible amount of suicidal thoughts and he finally carried out the deed, four weeks prior to seeing jack again. After the police told Jack this, he broke and wept a second time. That night Jack slept at a friends because he was afraid to sleep at home. He had a dream about Abe. Abe kept sayin, you have until the third, the third is your last until you join us........ Jack could not figure it out. It was the 8th of September the 3rd was last week. He had not a clue. The next day, Jack called the police to see if there was any progress. They told him that they found em, but they were dead. We are sorry Jack, we did everything we could. They died the same way that Abe's wife did. Jack knelt before his friend hugged him, and wept a THIRD time. When he opened his eyes, his friend was gone. Abe,Jack's wife, and Jacks family stood before him. Abe knelt on the floor near his friend and whispered in his ear, Hey there buddy, hows life treating you? After saying this a smile grew on Abe's face. He said c'mon Jack its time to join us. They were gone.

© R.L. Crowley

[Thundergod]

i love it ! all you need to do is make an intro and detail every single step out . it could be a fantastic short story by the time ur done.

[Kadesh]

It's very good, but there are a couple places where the word order could be changed so it would be clearer. And I agree with Thundergod, you could expand on it and make a hell of a short story.

[Lost]

This is awesome, but id say it needs more of an intro to