Eloquent Poetry Collection.

[Raysa]

Excuse me if I'm a bit shy . . .  Here are some of my poems. Productive [and even painfully blunt] criticism is very apreciated.

I aim to perfect.

,,Souldier"

Today, this lad's name is
Souldier.
Nineteen years have secluded him
From companionship.
He'll swallow the demons
That war behind his eyes,
And dance with Danger -
For it feels so good . . .
When you've got nothing to lose,
There's Hell to gain.
He doesn't mind, he's known Hell,
And it's . . . bearable.
,,Now, I can only gaze skywards,
For my feet reach the lowest pit;
But my fingers,
They can stroke the soft clouds."

[Raysa]

,,Fatality"

Twelve strokes of infinity
Have lead you to the mountains
Of deliberate seclusion.
Blinks your eyes and glance again,
For there are no shackles around you.
,,It's repulsive, impossible!" you claim,
But deep down you know
No one decided for you.

[Note: It's about karma and paths in life. It's truly frustrating when one highly indulged in the topic complains that 'Well, *you* chose it." Yes, when I was a spirit, damn it.]

[Raysa]

,,Furor"

Cold skin bites
And scars' awful itching.
She claws at them,
Quietly refraining.
Angelbites and snakebites
Interlaced with ropes . . .
She can't touch them,
Her mouth might break.
Mind gone blank,
Teeth slapping across
And carving into the dashboard --
Swollen marks of despair.
Her friends can't even read her lips.
Only her eyes are pleading.
Hip bones digging into blank walls . . .
It's all over again.
Her mind is tense with pursuit,
And aching.
She pulls strings of flowing dawn,
There, right there,
In the twilight of the morning.

[Petling]

Wow, those are just gorgeous. I love that last one!!!

[Sick_Angel13]

Interesting, the last one is my favorite too.

[Kadesh]

 I like all of them, but Fatality is my favorite. And I know exactly what you mean... I hate coming to the crossroads, making a decision, getting down the road and realizing it sucks... and knowing it was my own choice that led me there. But I learn from it... I am who I am because of the mistakes I've made.

[Moloch]

Quite nice. Simple, elegant, poetic. Good grammar, pacing, timing, rhyme. The format on paper looks funny, but that's the only negative thing at this point. Not my personal cup of tea, but good nonetheless.

[thefang1]

I like them.  They don't have a perfectly steady tempo and don't really rhyme consistently, but that's obviously not your type of poetry.  I have to agree with Moloch- no offense meant, but that's not my particular favorite type of poetry, but I can appreciate its simple beauty.  Good job.  If that's the type of poetry you like and enjoy writing, go for it!