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Yet another poetry thread

Started by thefang1, August 14, 2008, 12:40:10 PM

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thefang1

Yeah, I hafta agre.  I guess not all of my work is gonna necessarily be of the same quality. Oh well.  I tried.  And succeeded on several occasions.

Kadesh

 It's still good... better than most... but just a tiny bit of difficulty with those last two. If you feel like you can, I'd try to tweak them if I were you. I've went back and done that with some of my poetry and it's made them much better.
...The monster in the cage
       Is coming for you...
         9-29-10

thefang1

I am planning on submitting thw poetry on this thread to my school magazine. This post is to verify that the account I've written then on is indeed mine.

Kadesh

 That's really cool, fang. You'll have to let us know how it turns out. Best of luck!!
...The monster in the cage
       Is coming for you...
         9-29-10

RavenFreefall

Quote from: thefang1 on September 04, 2008, 02:59:15 PM
Sorry I've been gone so long, I was on vay-k.  Anyway, I'm feeling s**tty today.  Here's one that I cooked up, fresh from the ovens of hell.

The Insanity of Being Sane


I feel the need to act in hate,
To with a devilish grin,
Let the world appreciate,
The demon I am within.

To in anger lash out,
In desperation take hold,
To clear up the doubt,
With horrors untold.

What could they do,
Or think, or say,
To wound me deeper,
Than they have this day?

What in the world,
Could be worse than this?
This hateful prison,
This miserable bliss?

To be born a martyr,
A bodily freak,
And instinctually hate,
The very goals that you seek.

To despise yourself,
With undisputable spite,
For doing what you know,
Is the only thing right.

Could you survive it?
Could you stand tall?
Could you take pride,
In taking the fall?

I doubt that you could,
I know that you’d fall,
In fact I doubt standing,
Would be an option at all.

The title, which will confuse most of you because you don't understand the back story, has special meaning to me.  Don't question it, I wrote this poem for me.


WOW....this poem really sturck a cord with me...dont as y...just congrats mate...not much makes me feel nowa days
For the First TIme,
Im Losing Control,
And I Like It,
Freedom Feels Like The Noose is Gone

logic for you

hey i like writing was it easy for you come up with your poems or did you have work them until they went the way you wanted them to :-)
love bade me welcome: yet my soul drew back, guilty of dust and sin.

                                      -- george herbert, "love (III)"

Kadesh

 I'm not sure how often fang is on, logic. If you don't mind, I could answer your question... as much as anyone can. We're all different. Some of us take forever to write something, for some, it just comes naturally. For me... it depends on my mood, the weather, the lighting... lol. Some just flow right off the pen, others take work to get them where I want them. Writers like Moloch just write them down as it comes to them. That, I think, is more rare than it is common.  Did that help at all??
...The monster in the cage
       Is coming for you...
         9-29-10

Andrea Warfare

Ya well Moloch is a kickass writer who can "freestyle" I have to RESLLY rehearse my work if I want it to be good.
We are all unique.You my dear are uniquely non-unique.

Kadesh

 Sometimes rehearsal creates a better performance. But sometimes the freestyler just knocks you on your ass. *<:)
...The monster in the cage
       Is coming for you...
         9-29-10

logic for you

Quote from: Kadesh on September 26, 2009, 09:54:53 PM
I'm not sure how often fang is on, logic. If you don't mind, I could answer your question... as much as anyone can. We're all different. Some of us take forever to write something, for some, it just comes naturally. For me... it depends on my mood, the weather, the lighting... lol. Some just flow right off the pen, others take work to get them where I want them. Writers like Moloch just write them down as it comes to them. That, I think, is more rare than it is common.  Did that help at all??

yes it did i don't really talk to other people that write mainly because of where i live there are not a lot of people how write because they take there emotions out on beating the crap out of each other, trying to find a fellow writer where i live is like trying to win at carnival game it almost never happens.

and im sorry for not sounding serious just so you know i am very serious about writing  the words down but the spelling and punctuation eludes me and all it does is get me in the same attitude as i was before i wrote it so i ignore it and write when i fell im at the end of my rope
love bade me welcome: yet my soul drew back, guilty of dust and sin.

                                      -- george herbert, "love (III)"

Kadesh

 There's nothing wrong with writing, but if you intend to share it, how can you expect to convey the correct feeling behind the words if you have no punctuation?? Here... Let me give you an example that I once stumbled across....

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

From: http://www.thrivingnow.com/for/Rick/woman-without-her-man-is-nothing/

See?? It makes a BIG difference.
...The monster in the cage
       Is coming for you...
         9-29-10

logic for you

yes it does thank you for pointing that out to me  :-D
love bade me welcome: yet my soul drew back, guilty of dust and sin.

                                      -- george herbert, "love (III)"

Kadesh

 Any time, logic. Let me know if there's anything else I can do. :-)
...The monster in the cage
       Is coming for you...
         9-29-10

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