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Meditation Advice

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Moneyman:
Note:
I have read an advice thread on mediation here(http://www.monstrous.com/forum/index.php?topic=9502.0) and I intend to read it carefully. For now, I'm simply asking for your personal thoughts on an experience I had.

I have been trying to learn how to meditate for some time now. It is VERY difficult for me because I have ADHD, the real kind that your born with and not the one that results from lax parenting. It requires a huge amount of effort on my part to concentrate, much more then the average person usually needs to put in. Needless to say, meditation is not something that comes to me easily.

Anyways, I thought I would relate to you guys a recording from a journal I keep on meditation. I feel I had a breakthrough, but I'm having trouble repeating the results. I'll give it to you guys word for word(brackets are after comments), let me know what you guys think about this:


--- Quote from: Moneyman's Journal ---Saturaday Oct. 15 11:50pm:
1:34 - Efforts to concentrate begin. My first priority is to stop daydreaming and to have all focus on reality.

1:36 - I will practice a concentration meditation(just simple concentration, not anything special) for a few minutes.

1:40 - I attempted to focus on nothing and I was partially successful. There was loud music in the background, music I knew. It was difficult to drown out the music at first, I wasn't sure how to go about meditating. Eventually I closed my eyes and tried to focus on not listening to the music. I was breathing irregular and shallow. I focused on the sound of breathing, it was taxing to try and control my breathing. I started to feel something strange, it was calming, it felt like I was hyper-focusing and "letting go" at the same time.

Results during:
-An unusual feeling that is difficult to describe. I've never felt it before, or at least never this strong.

-There was also a strange feeling in my head, it was almost ticklish, yet it felt like my head was tensing up.

-I lost focus of my breathing and could have sworn I stopped altogether, yet I did not feel the urge to breathe. I felt relaxed with my breathing and didn't stress over breathing at all.

-I suddenly felt a sense of stillness. I was calm, alert, relaxed, and energized. It was no longer a struggle to concentrate or control my mind.

-There was a change in emotion as well. It is best described as a feeling of eternity, a feeling like one gets when looking at stars and contemplating the Universe's astronomical size. It was like standing on top of a tall mountain and staring into the distant horizon.

-Time slowed down considerably, I no longer felt rushed, time no longer passed by. If I where to guess, I entered this state a minute or two after I began meditation at 1:36pm. If I remember correctly this state lasted about two minutes. Those two minutes seemed to last as long as five minutes normally feels. The whole session felt longer then four minutes, it felt closer to what ten minutes normally feels like.

Results After:
-A heightened sense of awareness.

-Increased energy both physically and mentally(not astral/esoteric, just regular)

-Decreased anxiety and a sense of clarity and calm.

-Improved concentration, less effort needed to control mind.

-Unusual feeling from session continued after session.

-The world around me felt real, I felt as if I had gone from being half asleep to being fully alert.

-All effects from the session slowly wore off as I wrote this(I hand write this in a book). I still feel a little more relaxed then before, and it has been nearly an hour since.

End Result:

1:36 - Session began.
1:40 - Session ended.
2:34 - Writing finished.
--- End quote ---

I have just barely grazed the outer fringes of meditation, it took a lot of effort for me to even attempt it. I still need much more practice, especially using the advice I read on that article I mentioned.

One of the physical signs I look for in a successful meditation(or at least, basic control of the mind) is whether or not my sense of time slows down. The more time slows down, the more I'm concentrating and allowing my subconscious to free up my conscious mind(or at least thats my theory).

I should also mention that I take Dexedrine, a stimulant, to help concentration and fight my day time fatigue from insomnia(I can't fall asleep before 1-2am without drugs), just in case they may cause problems with meditation.

What do you guys think? Any advice or things you'd like to point out that I should think about?

Jake:
Just out of interest, is your source of dexy's Adderall? I'm not sure - were I in that position - whether I would be prepared to endure the psychosis-related side effects of (2S)-1-phenylpropan-2-amine. Meditation and dexy's just seem such diametrically opposed "state-of-mind" inducers, Ill be really interested to follow how you progress through this. Good luck with your efforts, keep us posted.

Loki:
In the same sort of unreliable meditation stimulator, a friend was using brainwave stimulation through binaural beats to change his brain frequency.

Alpha waves describe the electrical activity of the brain in the frequency from 8 to 12 hz. That activity occurs naturally in periods of light relaxation or when the eyes are closed but the person is awake.

It is generally believed that alpha waves are dominant brainwaves in people who are in a relaxed or meditative state. It is also present in creative or day dreaming states. It has been also detected also that children tend to stay more time in alpha states than adults.

You can download those generators on the net but be careful there are side effects!

Jake:
I've tried the binaural beats - I can't make claims for them beyond my own, subjective, personal experience, but I certainly found them very relaxing. For example, I too suffer from insomnia, but mine is mainly due to chronic tinnitus I think - the ringing is SO loud when you're alone in the dark - and binaural beats have occasionally got me in to a good state of relaxation for sleep onset.

Moneyman:

--- Quote from: Jake on December 01, 2011, 03:40:55 PM ---Just out of interest, is your source of dexy's Adderall?
--- End quote ---

No, I take two 15mg Dextroamphetamine sulfate tablets.


--- Quote ---In the same sort of unreliable meditation stimulator, a friend was using brainwave stimulation through binaural beats to change his brain frequency.
--- End quote ---

I'm a bit confused, I don't recall mentioning a meditation stimulator. Where you referring to the Dexedrine, or something else? The dexedrine isn't for meditation specifically, its just to improve my day to day concentration and combat daytime fatigue. If you think dexedrine will have a noticeable impact on my meditation or anything else important, I can discontinue its use. I've been planning to do so for a while anyway.

As for these brainwave stimulators, what sort of side effects are there? Also, do you think its better to use them or try and master meditation without them?

I should also point out that I take two 100mg Seroquel(Quetiapine) tablets at night to induce sleep. They are anti-psychotics, but my doctor prescribes them off label as a sleeping aid.

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