Author Topic: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter  (Read 1718 times)

Devious Viper
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Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« on: December 27, 2010, 09:04:31 AM »
So Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is going into pre-production... Despite the presence of Tim Burton as producer, I don't know about you, but I'm not feeling the love for this movie.

The plot revolves around the premise that :

Quote
"...the Civil War was fought to rid this great 
nation of a scourge of undead who, when not sucking blood, were trafficking in slaves. And leading the charge was Honest Abe himself, a committed vampire killer since boyhood, when he learned that his mama and his granddaddy too were felled by fangs. ... a labored send-up that refracts the life story of one of the most important, famous, and minutely analyzed figures in all of American history through a cockeyed and ultimately foolish lens. Lincoln's mentor in all things bloody is revealed to be a good-guy vampire named Henry [and] we learn that all the usual historical bad guys were vampires..."

Aussie Eric Bana (The Hulk) is currently being touted to play the lead. Personally, if they really have to foist this movie upon us, they could at least have asked (long-time Burton collaborator) Johnny Depp, but perhaps he's already anticipated which way the critical wind will blow on this.

Nina
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Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2010, 06:18:16 PM »
Muahahaha, damn, I should go back to script writing, if this is what Hollywood pays.... damn *<:)  *<:) *<:) *<:)

TheCopperDragon

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Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2010, 08:20:22 PM »
I'll save everyone $5 so they can buy a happy meal later: Boothe is the leader of the vampires and Abe dies at the end.
X(A+B) = (AX) + (AB). Politicize that.

Nina
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Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2010, 08:23:17 PM »
Thank, lmao!  *<:)

onishadowolf

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Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2010, 12:07:09 AM »
You have got to be kidding....they have officially run out of ideas. I think they should just borrow them from books and comics, but than again, I was in the bookstore and thought the same thing about them as I did the movie industry.
-The shadows connect us all-

Angelus

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Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2010, 02:07:57 AM »
What everyone has failed to mention is this is meant to be funny. The book was fantastic. From the same series as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I personaly look forward to laughing at the ubsurdity of this film. Can't be any worse than Jesus Christ; Vampire Hunter.
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Alexander Pope.

Nina
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Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2010, 02:08:58 AM »
I really gotta write Santa the Zombie Hunter for next xmass prime time!!!!  *<:)

Devious Viper
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Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2010, 04:54:22 AM »
What everyone has failed to mention is this is meant to be funny. The book was fantastic. From the same series as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I personaly look forward to laughing at the ubsurdity of this film. Can't be any worse than Jesus Christ; Vampire Hunter.

I totally get what you're saying, but...

The idea is already past its sell-by date. Since P&P&Z we've had to endure Mansfield Park and Mummies; Sense and Sensibility and sea Monsters; Queen Victoria: Demon Hunter; Mr Darcy, Vampyre; Henry VIII: Wolfman; Emma and the Werewolves; Jane Slayre; Android Karenina and I Am Scrooge: A Zombie Story for Christmas...

Flimsy, repetitive, unfunny, flogging a dead horse. It's the literary equivalent of my 5 year old repeating the SAME knock-knock joke to me 38 times in a row just because I laughed the first time she told it.

Imagine a 90 minute movie which consists ENTIRELY of an extended version of SNL's Cowbell sketch.

This movie is going to be that. And people who pay to see it deserve to have it rammed aggressively down their throats in endless, unfunny sequels for the next 10 years.

Angelus

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Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2010, 02:53:33 AM »
Calm down. Its just a movie. If you don't want to see it, then don't. If you hate the concept, or think its bad for whatever reason, don't see it. It's the same advice you give to people who claim their is too much swearing or smutt in TV and Movies. Don't watch what you don't want to. No one is making you. Or are you now the movie NAZI? "I veel naht allow zees movie to be released! Nein!". If I had my way i would burn all copies of the Twilight Saga but its not. My fiance likes them and I myself have sat and watched them with her. They are only movies. And I never heard of I Am Scrooge. Lol. I want to read it now. Anyway. My point is..... Different Strokes........ That show sucked.
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Alexander Pope.

Devious Viper
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Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2010, 02:58:02 AM »
You're missing my point: the film doesn't make me angry at all, it just disappoints me, and sounds like it will be an utter sack of s**t =)  Its a lazy adaptation of a lazy joke.

The movie nazi would probably be the one who doesn't think anybody should criticize something that they wouldn't criticize...

onishadowolf

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Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2010, 03:08:49 AM »
I saw a preview for a movie called "Cowboys & Aliens". It looked like a instant classic cheesy scifi movie. So be warned, there are other disappointments on the way. Lol
-The shadows connect us all-

Devious Viper
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Re: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2010, 03:45:49 AM »
I saw a preview for a movie called "Cowboys & Aliens". It looked like a instant classic cheesy scifi movie. So be warned, there are other disappointments on the way. Lol

I'm surprised by the number of big names involved with that one - Favreau, Harrison Ford, Daniel Craig, Spielberg...

My stance towards mash-ups and cross-genre movies is firmly rooted in movie history. In 1913 Universal Pictures kick started the horror movie genre with their adaptation of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, directed by Carl Laemmle, the founder of Universal and one of the most significant figures in pre-war filmmaking. This was followed up by The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923), The Phantom Of The Opera (1925), The Cat and the Canary (1927), The Man Who Laughs (1928), The Last Warning (1929), The Last Performance (1929), The Cat Creeps (1930) and, in 1931, probably the greatest gothic horror movie of all time - James Whale's Frankenstein.

As time wore on, the studios ran out of gothic horror novels to make into movies, and the rot began to set in with the "good idea at the time" mash-ups such as Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) and Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff (1949). The final nail in the coffin (pun intended) of the golden age of horror on the silver screen was Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in 1953. Full circle.

This is where we now find ourselves once more... It seems we're running out of comic books to turn into movies. A generation that has been raised with low expectations might hardly realise what Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter actually represents in terms of cultural significance, but you don't need to be a genius to see that this doesn't bode well for cinema in the first half of the 21st century.

Just as the narrator says in Fight Club, everything is a copy of a copy of a copy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYDLv8rK4z8

And each copy is less distinct than the previous one. Eventually you're left with a meaningless haze of grey.

Here endeth the lesson.

« Last Edit: December 29, 2010, 03:57:07 AM by Devious Viper »