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The Great Flying Machine


Once upon a time, when human beings first ventured out of the forest with their fire and their spears and stood, blinking in the sunlight, they decided to build a machine to let them fly away.

The design started simply enough, but while  these ancient humans had built a large, pretty thing with many moving parts and blinking lights and shiny bits, they completely ignored the Laws of Aerodynamics. (As a matter of fact, the chief engineers at the time scoffed at such a notion. "Laws" they had said; "Laws don't apply to us! WE make the laws!" and so they tossed the memo titled "Important! Please read!" into the rubbish bin.)

So the Humans pushed their Great Flying Machine to the edge of a very very high cliff, and they all jumped aboard and laughed and guffawed at those other humans that didn't think a Flying Machine was such a keen idea.  And they pedaled their feet as hard as they could and built up their momentum and woosh! -- off the edge of the cliff and into the wild blue yonder!

Cheers and cries of utter delight rang from all the humans aboard their Great Flying Machine.  "Laws!" they scoffed again; "Who needs 'em?" And they laughed in the face of the Gods as they pedaled their fallin--- I mean Flying Machine over hill and vale.

Unbeknownst to the humans at the time was that their huge, shiny, beautiful craft was incapable of flight, because, while they chose to ignore it, they were in fact, quite subject to both the Laws of Aerodynamics AND the Laws of Gravity, and had only just begun to plummet downward to the ground below.

And so the humans pedaled and pedaled and cheered and were so proud of themselves.  But after a while, one or two of the Great Flying humans took a look over the edge to see how high they were flying, and in fact, noticed the ground was rushing up to meet them at a rather alarming rate...

"Nonsense!" Cried the Chief engineer the XII (The original engineers were quite long deceased, and had bequeathed their Great Flying Machine to the subsequent generations.) "Our great-great...... great-great grandfathers built this machine and they knew EXACTLY what they were doing! We just have to pedal harder for now is all! Then we'll be flying again in no time!"

And so the humans pedaled even harder and faster than they had before, and a few of them tried to ignore the ground getting closer and closer.

After a great long while, a few more of the humans peered out over the edge, to see how much altitude they had gained since they had started to pedal harder, but in dismay, realized that it was closer than ever before, because the Great Falli-- (dang it!) FLYING Machine was built according to the Great Lawmakers of eons before.  How could it possibly not be working?  But the ground was indeed closer than ever before, and so the few humans (very few, actually) that were paying attention brought the subject up to the Chief Engineers XXXVII.

"Don't be ridiculous! We've been flying all this time! We haven't hit the ground yet, so we never will!" The Chief Engineers said. "There's no such thing as Ground! But if you're that worried about it, pedal faster!"  and laughed in the face of those silly doomsayers on the wings.

And so the humans pedal their Great and Shiny Flying Machine, with it's bits and bobs and shiny things and noisemakers and video games and supermarkets and factory farming and Television and their lying, cheating, ignorant Chief Engineers -- and continue to plummet inexorably to the ground (because, if you remember, the machine cannot fly ever because it never once conformed to the Laws of Aerodynamics), pedaling as hard as they can, smiling in their self-contrived glory.



i don't like the idea of airplanes, either...if man was meant to fly he'd have given us wings.  ;)

but i get the feeling that little story, isn't so obvious?  ;)

it makes a good point. 

Ah, hello my good friend of Ishmael. This is directly copied fomr Danial Quinns book, wouldnt you say? Give a little credit?

Anyway, its a great story and it shows how our civilization is soon to end. Happy Apocalyptic Season!


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