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A black wolf

Started by King_of_RED, January 28, 2011, 10:51:31 AM

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King_of_RED

Well Monstrous has helped me out a lot in the past so I figured I ask Monstrous for help once again.

Well It seems like whenever I get through a great ordeal or fight off my depression I see a black wolf.
I've looking around the web for answer as to why I see it but nothing has helped so far. I dont any bad feelings
whenever the wolf appears and more then half the time its just intimating me. Like whenever I go out for nightly stroll
and my mind wonders I feel the wolf walking right next to me. Or whenever I'm sitting around relaxing it's doing the exact same
thing.

If anyone knows what the wolf means I would like to hear from you and I apologize if I posted this in the wrong place
She wants blood and death....and I'm tempted to give it to her

Countess

I think Lady is on the right track. Since the wolf mainly seems to appear when you are dealing with a bought of depression I am going to say it is a totem. Look into the meaning of a wolf totem. These would be the lessons, events, etc that it wants you to pay closer attention to & possibly help with the depression. This is just a leap but is the depression linked to family/close friends?

King_of_RED

No my depression is based more around my life just kinda sucking (stress from work, withdrawing from people, having to depend on a drug just to feel "normal") Speaking of meds every time I take them I dont see or feel wolf at all and my mind and body just have this "off" feeling when its not around. I will look more into wolf totems thank you for the advice and I'm still open to other suggestions
She wants blood and death....and I'm tempted to give it to her

chaoticpsyche

I have very little experiance in this, but I think the other two are right, and that the reason you feel 'off' when you take your meds is because it is blocking your emotions to give you that normal every other person feeling. If you can, try to work through your depression with out the meds. I'm not saying don't take them at all, but try and find out what the cause of your depression is, and try to find a way to make it better.

I used to be the same, minus the meds. Always depressed, never talked, hated life, and hated everything around me. I changed that by doing something I felt was right, I joined the military. It made me feel free, like I belonged, like I mattered to someone, somewhere out there. Now I'm not saying that you should go out and sign your 60 page contract 60 million times, but I use that as an example. Find something that gives you purpose and happiness, and maybe that will help you with your depression.

In all honesty, you might only feel 'off' now with your meds, but I have a feeling that the longer you take them, the more 'off' you'll feel until it slowly drives you crazy... I could be wrong, though...
"The reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once." - Albert Einstein

"For those who say I am evil; hear this, what you hold in such disdain is my humanity."

Ryobi

It's true that a lot of totems/spirit guides do appear in this way but there are a few other possibilities. Wolves figure significantly in many cultures around the world (especially if you're from a European background).

Looking at dreams and subconscious imagery/symbolism from another perspective, seeing a black wolf could be linked to feelings of doubt or fear.

You said that your depression resurfaces when life takes a turn for the worse. This seems to suggest that when you are worried that you'll have to start taking meds again, that you'll start to withdraw, that work will get unbearable again you see a large black wolf following you around. In western culture (or at least australian/english culture) a wolf is seen as a predator, a dangerous carnivore that preys on the vulnerable. You may not consciously see a wolf this way but subconsciously your mind is a lot more vulnerable to cultural influences.

You also said that when you are walking in the dark, this wolf is following you. For ages I dreamt of a creature trying to 'contact' me. It preoccupied my thoughts just as this image of a wolf is doing to you.  I would visualise her around every corner, she was always watching from the dark and following. In western culture (thinking that you are from somewhere like America or England) the dark is also a symbol of danger, children are scared of it when they're little. The reason you see this wolf when you're walking in the dark might be as simple as your brain connecting the dark and the prowling black wolf together.

Working from this view point, I would attribute the off feeling to your medication screwing with your emotions (as CP pointed out). The reason you may be connecting 'not seeing a wolf' to 'feeling off' could again simply be because you are preoccupied with the problem of what this wolf might mean.

Not every experience in your life is fundamentally connected to every other experience. There seems to be many things going on in your life. Seeing this wolf could be a coping mechanism for all I know, it could be a spirit guide or it could be your mind telling you that you're afraid.
When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"

King_of_RED

I see....

You all make some good points especially Ryobi. The wolf my may represent my constant paranoia. The feeling like there is always someone watching me or my sometimes irrational fear of something popping up out of nowhere and dragging me to some hellish other world.

But I've been looking through some of the books I have and I found one that focused mainly on animal familiars. The wolf represents cunning, escaping hunters, fighting when necessary, wisdom, etc. But one thing that stuck while reading this book is that people can subconsciously attach familiar when you unknowingly reach out and latch on to something that you wish you had (A way to fight my depression, gain some backbone, kill my shyness) so I'm guessing this might of happened to me and the wolf simply answered my call. Now just a few minutes ago I tried to meditate and communicate with wolf but I ran into a problem.

If you ever ventured to the Darker side section of the forums (more specially Demon, demonology, and the devil) I posted about a demon/spirit that had been bothering me whenever my mind wander or even when I was focusing on something. Well when I tried to meditate I felt it's presence in front of me blocking me I guess you would say. Ever time I tried to focus on the wolf Clementine (the name I gave her) would distract me and would be overly affectionate.

The usual method I use to use to make her stop pestering me doesn't seem to faze her anymore and I cant really think of anything else to stop her meddling. I know this doesn't have anything to do with the topic (or dose it :?) but any help would be nice.
She wants blood and death....and I'm tempted to give it to her

Countess

So now we have some more options for what this could be. It could be a totem/familiar trying to help you fight or letting you know a fight is on its way. It is also possible that the demon has taken those fears & used the wolf to embody them & gain access to you. The other possibility is that the depression/paranoia have grown so out of control that your brain has created a manifestation of the wolf. Have your medication levels checked, if you aren't on meds please consider getting on them. They have come a long way since the drooling days & since depression is normally caused by a chemical imbalance this balance needs to be corrected before any progress can be made. Once you have taken care of all that, if the wolf is still around then we have ruled out mundane answers. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not trying to down play this but I do believe in ruling out the obvious/mundane. I know how awful depression treatments can be, I've been on them most of my 28 years. I've also seen how much better they have gotten & the meds would take some of the pressure off of you to do all the fighting on your own.

King_of_RED

I just refilled my current prescription about a week or two ago and they have lowered it. But the wolf appeared even when my meds at their previous levels. The fact Clementine is so affectionate (touching, giggling, somewhat smiling) is setting off some big alarms because she was never like that before. I think maybe she might have created it to lure me into meditating there by leaving me open and letting her wiggle her back into my head. Well thats just a thought. It could be the wolf could teach me something that Clementine doesn't want me to learn. Or maybe I am just going crazy again like everyone thinks I will....lol I losing my head here.
She wants blood and death....and I'm tempted to give it to her

Countess

I say, trust your instincts. If this wolf brings on your paranoia despite being on the meds at an appropriate level, then there is a reason for it. If "Clementine" is using this wolf you need to stop allowing the wolf in your space. A good banishing spell will help as well as removing anything related to the being you call Clementine. Stop using the name, actively push it out of your mind when you feel it creeping in, a good layer of salt & dragon's blood herb encircling the entire house as well as a small gris gris with them in any vehicles you regularly use will be a good start until proper banishment can be done.

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