[LeXtruX]

Hi, it's been a while since I last posted here, but I got a new (serious) problem.
It's like this, today I was sort of eating my girlfriend's energy, by accident, but it was hard to stop feasting...
She looked into my eyes. and she told me I was far off, it's like predator eyes (like sharks) that are only fixed upon their prey. it was like it wasn't me anymore, she said it looked diabolicle. But my black of my eyes didn't enlarge like a shark, but it frightened her, it gave her the feeling of evil, and I couldn't stop absorbing her energy, I was literally feeding on her energy.
So I wasn't me anymore, I was something else.
Is this normal for psychic vamps? or am I somewhat different all together?
When I tried not feeding on her I started shaking heavily of resisting the temptation of it... She was able to call me back by using my desires of the flesh, because you could say I was getting a frenzy on getting energy and she used normal desires to make me able to get back to my senses, instead of the energy to return to the flesh.

I'm really freaking out and I kept on shaking for half an hour tasting the energy of those passing by on me feeling that hunger come up again.

Please help!!!!!!!!!!!

[Angelus]

I'm a sang myself so I can't be sure but it sounds right. You would need a psychic vamp to tell you for sure.

[LeXtruX]

I want to add that the feeding itself isn't like I'm hungry so I feed, it's more like it was intoxicating, addictive, I couldn't stop... I, and I hate myself for it, did it twice to her that day, the first time was by accident because something triggered the feeding and I was eating her energy, the second time she was in a very panic state because something had happened and I used my feeding to suck the negative energy out, this tasted great, but not as great as when she was happy... but when the negative energy was out I couldn't stop, eventually I could, but in the beginning I could not, it took a long time to get a full grip of myself.
I've been sending her my energy all night long to recuperate for what she had lost because of me, she's fine now, but I'm still broken...
I really need to know if this is because I'm a psychic vamp or if I'm some sort of 'demon' (I say this due the lack of a better word) that is born in a human body... because I have heard of other psychic vamps before I never heard of them having this kind of behaviour... when she looked in my eyes me, the way I am, was gone, she said something evil was there instead of me, though I was completely aware of everything I could not stop feeding.
Other things that happened were that I had a better sense of my surroundings and when I stopped feeding, but the cravings were still there (I had the power not to feed but I was still in that trance) everything was sharper as I have ever seen things, I could see a long distance and don't have any blurry lines because of the distance...
I smelled and tasted the energy of those around me...

You need to know that I have a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge amount of energy stored inside me, my aura, so I have been told, reaches out of me beyond 7 meters radius, which, as I have also been told, isn't something aura does...
So I don't actually need to feed on energy of others because I have so much of it by myself... add to that that I can feed, like I used to before yesterday, just by absorbing energy from my surroundings (people, animals, plants around me, as well as the sun, water etc...) but it's not like yesterday, yesterday I was really draining her... and to be honest I was getting horny because of it, but not like the usual way someone gets horny... more like I wanted her so bad, but only to feed of her more...
I reread the things about psychic vamps on the monstrous sites and it would seem, that if I am only a psy vamp, I'm every kind of psy vamps... the problem is, I don't really think that's the case because before I was like that because I absorbed energy, and like I said: yesterday I was draining it from her...
Not feeding made me shake terribly.

When I stopped feeding I became terribly thirsty, because I stopped in the middle of my 'meal'... and drinks didn't help, even now I'm thirsty and hungry on a way I've never been before, no food or drink seems to satisfy my needs...

if anyone has any clue or idea of what I am or what I could do to control this, how stupid or idiotic it may seem, I will take any help I can get to prevent myself on feeding on the one person in my life that really matters...

Edit: forgot to say I'm feeding on my own energy atm because I don't want to feed like this on others... it's like nailbiting or biting the cords of hoods...

[Angelus]

If this is true, the reason for having such a large aura could be that you have been sapping energy from everyone around you for years without knowing, just little by little, I understand that is how alot of pranic feeders begin. Your story just sounds like every other awakened pranic/psychic vamp. You should ask one of the pranics on the site though. Like I said, I'm sang.

[LeXtruX]

Ok thx^^ I noticed today that I got the cravings completely under my own control I can feed when I want and stop when I want, I'm even able to control other peoples chakra, so not just aura, from distance more easy now...
I still go in some sort of trance when feeding, but I can stop feeding immediatly and I don't shake anymore when I do so...
You're saying I'm awakening? but the aura thing is my own aura, not those that I collected, it's really mine from my own, the aura that is being added to it makes the reach even larger, which has different colours... my own aura is gold btw.

edited: forgot an essential word in my post

edit 2: To clarify the fact of my aura and absorbing other aura's/energies from my surroundings: I don't know if you recall my post about the chains? I forgot to mention it there, but my aura was flowing around those chains, but other colours of aura's were flowing around it too, and those are the aura's I've been absorbing all these years.

edit 3: Also, my gf, which is a sort of spirit seer (she can see aura's with her eyes closed, she can use her third eye without training) (not sure I used the right term for what she is) and she said that my golden aura, which used to be dark gold has been getting brighter lately and since thursday has become very bright gold with, near my body a white glow.
To clarify my 2 aura meanings:
Clear gold metallic, shiny and bright: Spiritual energy and power activated and awakened; an inspired person.
WHITE AURA COLOR: Reflects other energy. A pure state of light. Often represents a new, not yet designated energy in the aura. Spiritual, etheric and non-physical qualities, transcendent, higher dimensions. Purity and truth; angelic qualities.

Also she says that the last chains containing me are fading.

So angelus you could be right about the awakening part.

any other info I can get about myself? I'm not sure who the other psi vamps here are, because the only one I knew of for sure was moloch, which is the one who told me I'm a psi vamp

[LeXtruX]

Ok, my gf just told me that she saw smth thursday but didn't want to tell me what it was before she could compare it with smth, but when I was feeding and in trance she something coming out of me that looked like this
She said it was more darkgrey than black though
anyone has an idea what this could mean?

[Muerte]

  When Psychic Vampires first begin to feed it tends to be spastic and unpredictable.  Since it comes so soon after you asking for help with your chains I can not but help feel partially responsible for your current situation.  What I can recommend is that you start frequenting areas that have large quantities of people, then you can feed all you want, you'll find that if you stay in one place for 30 min you can get all the energy you need and no one else will ever be the wiser.  That or find some one you do not like and make up a reason to be near them for a bit.  Worry not about the beginning for it is like riding a bike, pretty soon the feeding will become controllable and natural.

[LeXtruX]

  When Psychic Vampires first begin to feed it tends to be spastic and unpredictable.  Since it comes so soon after you asking for help with your chains I can not but help feel partially responsible for your current situation.  What I can recommend is that you start frequenting areas that have large quantities of people, then you can feed all you want, you'll find that if you stay in one place for 30 min you can get all the energy you need and no one else will ever be the wiser.  That or find some one you do not like and make up a reason to be near them for a bit.  Worry not about the beginning for it is like riding a bike, pretty soon the feeding will become controllable and natural.

thx^^ I already noticed I can feed when I want and it feels natural, I don't get in that trance anymore, but I do notice I feel different than last week.
any clues on why my gf saw that shape coming out of me?

[dynamicshadow89]

Well my opinion is that most vampires are bound to a demon (at most of our chakra points, entwined) within that causes our energy deficiency and makes us what we are. My guess is that your huge aura is due to what's inside/within you and that it was the demon that rose to the surface so strongly due to your feeding upon negative energy which makes them even stronger and harder to hold back.

[LeXtruX]

what you say might be true, but I still don't know what it is. I wasn't the one who saw that thing, but my gf did, she said it looked a bit like that picture I posted, but she said she wasn't sure if it was a dragon, it did have batlike wings and looked serpent like.
Anyway, I think I'm able to fully control it now, though I have no idea what it is. Also my ability to use my chakra has improved a lot in the last few days.
Alaina (man I love that name always liked it^^) you seem to know more about these things than you're letting out and I wish to hear more, I read some other posts of you which only back up my theory about you knowing more...
I'dd like to know about what I am, what's happening to me and how I can use my abilities and control them and everything that is involved in these matters.

[dynamicshadow89]

What you described sounds very much like what I've seen attached to myself and other vampiric individuals I've met. It is the actual vampire, but it is bound to our spirit/astral body at different points (our chakras), through different parts of ourselves we have allowed it in. When it is particularly hungry and we are not feeding it enough, it can rise of its own will (quite strongly at times), especially if we don't carefully guard our minds and emotions and hearts. We must seek to always learn the truest nature of things, creatures, reality, and life to loosen it's grip upon us, since it feeds of negativity, lies, and deception, it twists and steals our life's energy.  We, if there are half-demons, are probably the closest thing to them. Hybrids. Which is why we have our dual thought processes;, one very human and one very predatory and demonic in nature.

I also believe that genetics plays a part in activating dormant genetic strands that turn on certain and varying psychic abilities in us, the demonic energy being the catalyst of activation. 

Learning to love others, oneself, and to cultivate faith, truth, and virtue in yourself is the only way to really weaken or control it. You must stay positive. You are to not become the monster. I feel the creation of art, msic, and other forms of expression help to relieve it some... also, eating food that contains it's full spectrum of nutrients and energy will help energize you. Organic dairy, chocolate, hormone free meats and fruits and vegatables grown organically and minimally processed can really help.

Also, thank you- I like my name too. It means, "Luminous," or "Precious Light"

[LeXtruX]

What you described sounds very much like what I've seen attached to myself and other vampiric individuals I've met. It is the actual vampire, but it is bound to our spirit/astral body at different points (our chakras), through different parts of ourselves we have allowed it in. When it is particularly hungry and we are not feeding it enough, it can rise of its own will (quite strongly at times), especially if we don't carefully guard our minds and emotions and hearts. We must seek to always learn the truest nature of things, creatures, reality, and life to loosen it's grip upon us, since it feeds of negativity, lies, and deception, it twists and steals our life's energy.  We, if there are half-demons, are probably the closest thing to them. Hybrids. Which is why we have our dual thought processes;, one very human and one very predatory and demonic in nature.

I also believe that genetics plays a part in activating dormant genetic strands that turn on certain and varying psychic abilities in us, the demonic energy being the catalyst of activation. 

Learning to love others, oneself, and to cultivate faith, truth, and virtue in yourself is the only way to really weaken or control it. You must stay positive. You are to not become the monster. I feel the creation of art, msic, and other forms of expression help to relieve it some... also, eating food that contains it's full spectrum of nutrients and energy will help energize you. Organic dairy, chocolate, hormone free meats and fruits and vegatables grown organically and minimally processed can really help.

Also, thank you- I like my name too. It means, "Luminous," or "Precious Light"

today, shortly after I replied to your post, I had a heart to heart talk with that thing inside me... just to let him know who's in charge.
It's weird, it first happened thursday and I'm already fully in control... I can feed of energy around me, though it doesn't taste so good, but the sun is my main meal. I let it know that humans are in no circumstance our meal. and if we ever devour negative energy from others we stop feeding when the negative energy is gone (to heal them for example) and we replace the energy we took with our own positive energy. I made quite clear that it's my way or the highway and I could feel at some point it 'surrendered' to my will.
I also noticed that some foods I ate are starting to taste different, is this normal? and am I awakening? because in my whole life I had chains upon me, most are gone and the others, so I've been told, are beginning to fade.
I broke a lot of them by pure will. But what was the origin of these chains? because they were choking me, that's why I got rid of them.

[dynamicshadow89]

It sounds like you've already been doing what I had advised by breaking chains of bondage around yourself with truth and will. That is a good thing. I've written down conversations I have had with mine.

[LeXtruX]

It sounds like you've already been doing what I had advised by breaking chains of bondage around yourself with truth and will. That is a good thing. I've written down conversations I have had with mine.

mostly it was me talking, it didn't really reply with words, but when it disagreed I could feel it, it started pressing inside of me, trying to overpower me, I pushed it back rather quickly each time. when it stopped resisting I knew it had given in into my control.
I made him clear I don't like the taste of the sun either, but that the sun will be our main course every day and that I will have no discussion about it, and if it helped me evolve my powers and abilities more quickly I will occasionally hunt down some evildoers (demons, evil vamps, or others that harm innocent people) to feed on them, it seemed to settle with that. I also told him we will get used to the taste of the sun's energy (which has quite a foul taste, it's energizing, but it's old energy (not that the sun is old) because it traveled at the speed of light for about 8 minutes and therefor it's not so fresh anymore... I also devour the energies that are emitted into the world, but I made clear that unless it's someone that attacks me or someone I love we will never devour the energy that is within that being...

I'm not so strongwilled about not giving in on cravings for food or drinks, but I am strongwilled about things I don't want to happen and it knows this, but it gave me the feeling it will take over whenever it has the chance, I replied that if that happens it will be severly punished, because I will gain control again.

I do wonder what having this thing inside me can have that will benefit me instead of making my life harder though??? any examples of things that you like about it being inside of you?

[dynamicshadow89]

Well, every demon I've encountered is kind of like a black hole devoid of all love, just calculating, cold hate. The feel of its power is intoxicating though, almost like a blue/black fire that freezes and burns you simultaneously if it finally escapes. Personally, the only part I like is that it has allowwed me to see the world much more thoroughly and woke me up to the vibration/music within all the universe and how everything and everyone as their own unique vibration, frequency and core nature. Really though, if I could pry it off of myself and get it out for good, I would. But we have too many connection points for me to do that right now or in the near future. I'm just resisting it at this point.

And yeah they do move and press back inside of you, you can sometimes feel them clawing at different organs too, at times.