After some discussion with Moloch I figured out what those gates were/are when I was choking by my boundings...
It seems to be the gate to my soul.
Now the problem is, I never saw this gate before until I was actually choking, not getting breath.
Moloch and I think the only way for me to get to that gate and actually open it is to have a near death experience, but just go and run in front of a car is too dangerous if I survive it.
So are there other ways to get near death experiences or similar ways so I can get to that soulgate?
I think if I'm able to open the gates I could learn more about my being and on how to break the chains bounding me.
for hints on getting an NDE go here:
http://www.monstrous.com/forum/index.php/topic,8810.msg106981.html#new
