[Carnelian]

Hi. Little nervous about posting here because I get nervous talking about this stuff (don't want people to think I'm crazy) but I figure this is the best place to do it so...I guess maybe it'll help.

I'm seventeen. Ever since I was eleven or twelve, I've seen things that I can't really explain. Now, I don't really believe I'm special or want to, because I've been raised to believe nobody is a special snowflake or anything like that, so it's really weird saying this type of stuff. So, I'm all ready to believe that I don't have some type of special ~power~ or that something is ~following~ me and that maybe I'm just a little touched in the head?

But I've never really been touched in the head so...yeah.

I see a lot of stuff. Lots of people. They're like average people, they go about doing average things. But...they're not there. No one else can see them. We pay no attention to each other. Some of them have even walked right through me. It felt really weird. Like a hot flash and a head rush mixed together.

I see a lot of shadows of things that aren't there. People, animals. I see black, white, and gold balls of light zip across rooms a lot. Probably just floaters, but they're about the size of my palm so....

One thing that really sticks out is this one girl I saw this February, just a couple weeks ago. It was night. This girl was inside my house, peeking her head around a door. She had short hair, an upturned nose, freckles, blushed cheeks, and a michevious grin on her face. She seemed to want to play or something. But I freaked out and she disappeared.

Those things aren't really why I've posted in the Mayday section (I know, get to the gossip, Carnelian) what I'm posting about is something that is really different than that.

None of the things I see ever scare me. None of them ever seem dangerous. They're pretty neutral. Except for one thing...

I've seen Him so much that I nicknamed Him. Grey Man.

Grey Man is...different. He's powerful. He's dangerous. And for some reason, He's paying attention to me.

He's a man, dressed all in greyish brown from head to toe. He also holds a suitcase sometimes. Sometimes He has a hat on. When He doesn't, his hair is curly and down to his ears. It is the only thing that isn't grey. It's black hair. He has no facial features, or well, I can't see them. But I know his emotions and reactions instinctively.

He's been with me ever since I was eleven. I remember Him watching me from my door as I tried to sleep, standing in doorways as I played with my friends, standing behind me as I talked to people, even following me to the hospital. He's the only one that repeatedly comes to me. He's the only one who stays.

Now, the connection I have with Him is growing stronger. I can feel when He's here, even if He's not visible. I can tell His emotions and what He's thinking. Sometimes, I think He's trying to communicate, but I can't tell what exactly He wants because it's like I have some sort of block in my mind.

I've tried to tell Him to go away. That I don't want to deal with Him. The response I get is sort of "Lolokay see you tomorrow, Carnie." He'll listen and go away...for that day. Then He'll come back the next day and be smug about it. Purifying the house doesn't work. Prayers don't work. Me yelling and screaming for Him to leave doesn't work.

Another thing about Him...He's powerful. Like, so powerful, I feel He deserves having a capitalized "H" for Him. He's deadly. He's dangerous. Strange, I don't think He'd ever do anything to hurt me. If He's angry at me, He just gives me a good scare. But I couldn't promise anything for anybody else.

After six years of telling nobody this stuff and feeling kinda crazy, I think it was time I ask if anyone had any idea what it was.

He's trying to contact me again, I can feel it now. It's a weird feeling on the back of my neck.

I don't know if I'm crazy or not. Maybe I need to be admitted somewhere. I don't know. Hopefully you guys do.

My theories is either I'm crazy or...I really don't know. I don't know a lot about this stuff.

Can anyone help me?

Thank you.

--Carnie

[aliannanerakon]

okay first of all it sounds like you are definetly special. this guy sounds bad but you said he won't hurt you right? he might be a god trying to choose you for a host oooorrrrrr........you might be in the sitch i'm in and have an incubus named varden bugging u. i need to tell my finacee about this and i swear we will help you. look in the god and goddess hosts for an explanation on why we can help.

[Carnelian]

God and goddess host? Okay, ill look that up.

I've managed to talk to him for a couple minutes. He's answering my questions in a really roundabout way, I think.

Like, he can't say maybe. He says yes and no. So I asked him if he was a friend. He said yes. I asked if he was protecting me and he said yes and no.


He also said he can't physically do anything to my enemies but he can make things happen to them to benefit me.

I tried to ask more.but he told me I had a volleyball game to play. He got kinda snarky.


Do you think he is lying?

[aliannanerakon]

he COULD but it sounds like he wants to help you. i'd try to ask him more questions. it also sounds as if he wants to protect you but maybe isn't supposed to. (the yes and no question you asked him)

[Carnelian]

But why would he want to help me? What exactly is he in the first place? Is he bad or good?

He's always really...he never answers straight.

He's said, "I tell you all that you know." What's that supposed to mean?

I just...he's never physically done anything to me or other people, and sometimes he's ignoring me (I know he's listening but he refuses to answer) and sometimes he nonstop bugs me.

And whenever I ask him why he's hanging around, he changes the topic or doesn't respond. >.<

I'm very confused.

But today, I was having an issue with this girl who was being mean to me, and I could feel him like he was me. Chomping to do something to her.

Ugh. This is so frustrating.

And I'm concerned.  >.<

[aliannanerakon]

i'm startin to think he's a god who's taken an interst in you. i thinnk you are becoming a host.

[Carnelian]

What exactly is that? I looked it up but I didn't find much.

[aliannanerakon]

a host is someone who has a god or goddess in them. they can use their powers and also comunicate with them in your head and it also enables you to see past the veil. the thing that hides ghosts and demons and other supernatural creatures. a host can also use thier god or goddess powers.

[Carnelian]

Ah. I see.

And you think that Grey Man is a god and I'm becoming His host?

[aliannanerakon]

it might be possible

[LeXtruX]

I'dd like to clarify that I doubt it's a god taking you in as a host, also don't always go and believe anything someone says, just because it sounds cool or such...  (sorry alianna) try finding different interpretations of this "Grey Man" if there is a "good" entity at work you should know that they can be cryptic, if we are talking about a bad entity, you should learn to shield yourself and those around you from things like this, this is done primarily through meditation to strengthen your own willpower and resolve, this is often enough to cast away negative entities.

[leon abel trueheart]

there is also a random many other things it could be, i.e. it could be that your seeing beings that are one the reflected spiritual plain and you may be interacting with your own spirit or a great many other unknown variables may be taking place, keep in mind i am also half asleep so i don't have the capacity to give you all the possibilities

[aliannanerakon]

I'dd like to clarify that I doubt it's a god taking you in as a host, also don't always go and believe anything someone says, just because it sounds cool or such...  (sorry alianna) try finding different interpretations of this "Grey Man" if there is a "good" entity at work you should know that they can be cryptic, if we are talking about a bad entity, you should learn to shield yourself and those around you from things like this, this is done primarily through meditation to strengthen your own willpower and resolve, this is often enough to cast away negative entities.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i AM NOT saying it because it sounds cool. DO not insult me today i am in NO mood. i am sick and hurting.

[leon abel trueheart]

i'm sorry to hear that aliannanerakon i hope you feel better soon

[LeXtruX]

I'dd like to clarify that I doubt it's a god taking you in as a host, also don't always go and believe anything someone says, just because it sounds cool or such...  (sorry alianna) try finding different interpretations of this "Grey Man" if there is a "good" entity at work you should know that they can be cryptic, if we are talking about a bad entity, you should learn to shield yourself and those around you from things like this, this is done primarily through meditation to strengthen your own willpower and resolve, this is often enough to cast away negative entities.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i AM NOT saying it because it sounds cool. DO not insult me today i am in NO mood. i am sick and hurting.

My apology wasn't to state that you were saying that because it sounds cool, my point was that there might be any number of explanations to what is occuring and that one should not pick a posibility because it sounds cool... As of now, there are too many undefined variables to make an actual accurate assumption of what is happening, yours being one of them, the message was relayed to Carnelian and not you, but I felt an apology towards you because I tought you could take what I said offensive because I told Carnelian to take other reasons into account... Also, I don't like the threat you just send my way with those words and I would advice you to also take in account that not everything is meant as an insult towards you when your words are used as an example... That aside, I hope you feel well soon... To quote Spock from Star Trek: "Live long and prosper" (and I am ashamed to using this quote, even though I've never even seen 1 episode of Star Trek...)