Monstrous
Witches Brew => Dreaming => Topic started by: Alayla on March 24, 2010, 10:46:20 AM
-
I very rarely get nightmares, but when I do, I've noticed that nothing bad is happening to me (unless you consider me turning into a bloodthirsty monster). Rather, bad things happen to people I love or worse, innocent people in these nightmares. The worst ones are the ones when I am the one inflicting harm on others. This is a recurring dream I have every once in a while. But the fact that I had the dream itself doesn't scare me as much as the fact that I enjoyed it.
I was on a bus - a big yellow school bus with lots of people. Why? I have no idea. I don't ride a bus to school. And it wasn't just kids on the bus either, though there was one kid (like age 10-12) smoking. I got on and sat next to the kid and he thought I was just some goody two shoes and left me alone, which shouldn't bother me - that's what I like to let people think. But it did bother me. I thought, You don't know me! as he rolled his eyes and turned around to talked to some friends.
This lady I know (and don't dislike, I assure you!) was sitting on the bus too, just across and up from me. (You know how bus seats don't line up exactly?) I saw her out of the corner of my eye, but ignored her until her white-gloved hand suddenly caught the corner of my eye as she moved it upward and I struck at it, not even thinking. Her hand blossomed with bright red blood, saturating her blood as she yelped and grabbed it with her other hand. I stared at it in disbelief and horror, wondering why I had done it, but the blood... the blood excited me.
It wasn't long before I was upon her again. The rest of the dream remains a blur, but the most vivid part is the feeling I had - intense excitement over killing, feeling the blood in my mouth, warm and dripping, ripping people's flesh apart with my teeth and bare hands...murdering... I can still feel that excitement now when I think about that dream. Every time I think about it, I recall my excitement as I killed, especially the blood... Not like I was a vampire or anything and I wanted to drink it, but it was warm, and salty...and it...it was the rush of the kill I guess, that's how one of my friends described it, but it was more....
I am honestly scared by this dream. I'm not one to be scared easily. But I killed innocent people...and to know that I would do it.... I know I would. I have to stop myself. I don't constantly think about it, but the urge is always there. Even remembering the dream now, I feel the excitement and revelation of how amazing it felt to kill, with warm blood all over my face... It's not like I wanted to necessarily drink it, like a vampire, but it excited me - it ignited the blood lust within me - the urge to kill. Not with a gun or poison or any clean means either. I killed like an animal.
I know for a fact that I am pure human. That does not factor into this dream, although I do have some regrets about being human. I do wish for immortality - not crazy-like. Not like all the legends of people who do crazy things to become immortal. I very much dislike my race for many reasons - ignorance, stupidity, selfishness, frailty, etc, but I do not think this dream has much, if anything, to do with that.
-
For millions of years we humans have been killing things. This is our heritage. We are a type of animal. We use tools and have thinking processes but we are still a form of animal. The instinct we have as humans has lots of information all about killing. Millions of years of memories stored in your genetics, and yes violence and death are powerful exciting stimuli for us. We can get addicted to them the same way we get addicted to anything that gives us strong emotional responses. Here in your dream your animal side cames to the surface quite strongly. It is not something to be afraid of. It is part of what we are. The same animal side is what will make us breed and later feel protective towards your offspring. Your animal primordial side is a strong part of your identity as a human. It is a part of who you are, what makes you you.
Just some thought for you to consider.