Monstrous
Monstrous Café => Mayday! Mayday! => Topic started by: LeXtruX on September 09, 2009, 04:27:11 PM
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I don't remember posting the chainsthing I have on my first post ever on this forum, or wether it was only pmed to Moloch...
But I've always felt enchained and sometimes the chains get tighter and try to pull me backwards...
Sometimes it really hurts, but now I was choking for a while... the grip has loosened a bit, but I still feel where the chains were, my throat feels like the chains cut into it and are still hanging around it... it's still trying to pull me back...
Anyone who knows how I can break this chain???
Addon: when I was choking I got a vision of some sort seeing a gigantic black gate with weird writings on it... Oh and it was about the size of a skyscraper...
Any idea what gate that was?
And the grip is getting tighter again :cry:
*EDIT: for the moment, the pain is residing, but I'dd love to know how to break them anyway so I can prevent going through that again in the future?*
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Hmmmm..... An interesting question to ponder. I will need more information than what is present if I am to be of any help in this instance. May I ask if you or any of your ancestors have had dealings in the occult, more specifically in the area of demonology/summoning. Nasty things Demons, but always a place to start.
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Not that I know of, as far as I know I'm the only one in the family
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Have you tried a bolt cutter?
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You have a demon pet chained on ya. Or beter word, master, lol
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Try to ignore the rif raf Lex, Raz knows better, but can not help himself and Banshee, well the jury is still out on that one.
:focus:
Now that we have eliminated past family let's focus on you. What dealings have you had in the occult, any thing special about you that we should know of? (actually everything is important, as any small thing can be the key to the answer you seek, if you feel uncomfortable posting it where everyone can see it you can PM me and I will try to help you in that way.)
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Have you tried a bolt cutter?
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Muerte, i see you are educated in dark arts. What level did you reach if i may ask? Do you have your cult where people admire you or is it only the invisible people?
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Ok, here I go:
I got a tremendous amount of energy, which has never been depleted yet. Sadly, it's so much I can't control it.
Nearing full moon, meaning a clear night sky (I don't think the moon has any other value in this part except for the clear night sky) I get troubles getting to sleep.
If I eat stake, or other red meat I always hunger for more red meat, and I crave for raw meat.
The chains mostly start tightning when I try to control my energy.
My senses are more sharpened than that of the average human, f.e. I can hear the frequency of electricity.
Euh... Oh, when I posted this topic I saw a huge dark gate appear in front of my eyes, it had these weird writings on it and felt rather dark. I have been able to get in front of that gate before and even open it. Inside is a dimension completely white, it feels warm and cold, ...
Inside the 'room' (lets call it a room) there is the robed and hooded person, not sure whether it's a man or woman, or even human.
First time I couldn't hear 'him' (lets pressume it's a he) talking, yet I knew he was.
Next to him was a pillar with a book. The book had the same characters as script inside of it. Thus I couldn't read it.
When I went back a few times after, being in a tighter trance of self hypnosis I could hear him very quietly.
He said something about the book containing the experiences of those before... I think it means that, it wasn't in English though... But I don't think it holds real knowlegde as memories.
If I get furious I feel dark energy awakening inside of me, and if I go beserk I leave behind only destruction, unless I can get a grip of myself before I get in a rampage.
If I can think of anything else I'll add it later on.
Oh yea, I'm diagnosed being autistic, don't know if that helps, but still...
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My guess would be if the figure could be your subconscious. Just the idea I got from reading your post.
PS: I don't think autism would have anything to do with this.
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You obviously have some kind of genetic predisposition for this... state.
Say, do you have any royalty in your family? Even really far one counts
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royalty? not that I know of :s
it could be my subconsiousness, but I get this feeling that there were others like me, before me, but not necessaraly in my bloodline... at least, I don't know anyone in my bloodline that has what I have?
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My advice is to do some background check up. I bet you will find something very interesting there. :wink:
The fact that you dont know none like you, doesnt mean there arent any.
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I know that, but how can I find one? noone in my living family has what I have, the only 'royalty' in the family is my grandfather, he was knighted, but when he was knighted, many others were too, forgot the specific reason, it had to do with his job, at the railways. Everyone got knighted there xD
but you might be right, but how do I find records of my predecessors to have paranormal gifts? I don't think there are any records of things like that, or if there are, I don't think they would be open to the public?
I got another question, what does royalty have to do with my situation?
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To answer your question: those traits are pretty common, but not among common people. Everyone recorded with symptoms like you, have at least a small percentage of blue blood in them. It has been like that since oldest civilizations.
You can find records of your relatives in churches where your ancestors lived, and although it can be very expensive and hard to locate your origins, my guess is that you will find answers to your questions there.
Also, a little advice: dont see those traits as something abnormal, rather, you take them as a fact and learn how to chanel those in a way you will be able to control it, and even make yourself a better person.
Warning: its very easy to loose yourself if you find your gifts as something that puts you above other people.
I hope this helps a bit, and if you still have more questions, Ill be here :wink:
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How would it relate to royalty? And most important: What are your sources, Banshee? I've never heard of royalty in the family affecting any such thing, so I'd like to know where all this is coming from.
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I don't feel myself being above others.
Oh: something I forgot: I have this feeling I'm meant for greater deeds... not like in hoping so, but really feeling I need to get prepared because something big is nearing and I'll have my part in it's process, though I don't know what is going to happen I do know with the very essence I am that I need to learn to control my powers and to get prepared.
Anyone knows this feeling? Or knows of things like this that happened in the past?
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How attatched are you to all these wierd feelings sensations and images?
I mean honestly speaking do you think they make you different from other people or special somehow? Whats the crack with them?
Would you be willing to totally let them go if you had the chance?
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How attatched are you to all these wierd feelings sensations and images?
I mean honestly speaking do you think they make you different from other people or special somehow? Whats the crack with them?
Would you be willing to totally let them go if you had the chance?
you get it all wrong xD I don't mean I'm different than other, I'm just saying I have this feeling in every fiber in my body that I'm going to be part of something big and that I need to get prepared to help those around me, I'm not saying that feeling is actual truth, I'm just saying it's there. And I asked a question if others here know that feeling ^^ So basicly you answered my question by putting it into your question
But about that last question, could you clearify that for me please?
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I think he meant to let go of other people.
I must say that I get that same feeling. Before I even got into the occult, I always felt like I was supposed to be part of something big.
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The last question is another way of stating my first question. How attatched are you to them?
What does having them let you avoid feeling?
I'm not dismissing the experience you have at all. Its just that sometimes by asking questions like this we get to see whats happening from totally new perspectives. When that happens all sorts of new options become available.
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I have no idea how I would feel without them, but these feelings make me be aware of my surroundings and events at all times. I know something is coming, but I don't know when.
It doesn't make me avoiding any other feelings, it's just a sort of awareness
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Your answer says to me you are so attached to them them at an ego level that you are using them to prop up aspects of your identity.
It says to me you are investing in having these sensations.
If i was wrong then you would be able to answer the question about what having them allows you to avoid feeling.
What do you think?
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Before I answer your question: It's indeed a feeling, I don't know what will happen, I don't know what role I'll have in that happening, I don't know who or what will be involved. I just feel something coming, wether it's good or bad, I don't know.
It makes me feel I need to get prepared by learning to control my 'abilities' is ever I have them. Just to be safe.
I don't invest on these sensations, to be honest, I'dd rather not have them, yet I do.
I misread your question the previous time.
I am attached to them as like an animal knows when a storm is coming, or when a vulcano will errupt or even when they know it's the time of the year for mating.
It's build in. I hate having them, I've been able to know bad (and luckily good things too) things were going to happen.
For example: Every relationship I had until now that I did not end. I always knew the exact day: she's going to call and dump me.
I was always correct. At first I never tried to prevent those things from happening, because I didn't know what the feeling was.
Later I tried to prevent those things from happening, and now I'm just trying to be myself when I get them, knowing that it's either no use or either a sign that it's happening because I'm losing myself in the process.
Another example: to prove it isn't just unconsious insight.
My neighbours wife was very sick, the doctors said she had another 6 monts
1 month after that diagnosis, and I never saw/heard anything about her, I suddenly said, she's going to be dead tonight. That night she died in her sleep.
I knew it when my best friend was about to die. I was right...
About good things:
I had this friend that was very unhappy. I told him, soon you'll find someone else and you'll be able to forget her.
I did not say this to comfort him, I actually knew he was going to meet a girl that week with whom he would fall madly in love with. I just felt it, it's hard to explain, but I just knew it was going to happen...
Other things are:
With those I'm closest too (emotionally) even if they are at the other side of the planet, I always know if somethings wrong, or if they are feeling extreme joy.
What I'm trying to say is that I have this build in radar inside of me to detect when major changes in my life or in the lives of those near me are going to occur.
And franctly, I hate having them, because mostly they are vague feelings that are getting clear when it's too late to do anything about it...
I hate having them, but I feel that if I can learn to control my energy usages and abilities I can use it for the better.
Now, I'm not a seer or something like that...
I can feel vibes, tensions in the air, I can sense emotions and intensions (sry I use this for the lack of a better word)
When I look at someone and I get a bad feeling about him: it's always correct... they alway end up being bastards or bad people (like rapists) and if I get a good feeling it's always correct, though this happens the least...
mostly I don't get any feelings, meaning, they are ok, but can be annoying.
If I get a good feeling it usually means they are the nicest, kindest people there are xD
Now, by coming here I got to learn a lot about psi vamps... and mainly, my parents do complain a lot that I suck the energy out of them when I'm near them and just talking to them.
+ The fact I can sense emotions also conforms the fact that Moloch thinks I'm a psi vamp.
I hope this info helped you a lot?
If you got questions, ask them:)
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The world is tainted by the filters you see it through.
What are the filters you are using?
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I haven't really answered your previous question xD
Those feelings always dissapear when I know what they are for. This one has been going on for many years and it lessens a bit in feeling when I get the idea in my head I'm part of something bigger...
It could be hoping to be part of something bigger, it could always be just my imagination. But I feel it
About the filters... I have 0 experience in controlling my energy, feelings and abilities... So I have no idea what filter I use.
I don't see a tainted world though, every day I go outside and see how beautiful it is, even with us humans destroying it bit by bit, it is still a wondrous place to live ^^
I love looking at nature, the birds, the sky, I love walking around and see people smiling, chatting. I love being here, but still that feeling remains:(
Maybe it has something to do that I want to protect this piece of rock no matter what?
I came here mainly to get a 2nd, 3rd, etc opinion about what I experience ^^ Since in my family these topics aren't really wanted, they are being avoided because they are 'impossible'...
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Have you looked into the indigo child phenomena? I personally don't know wether to believe it or not however what I read indicates that these people have been reincarnated into this world in order to cut down the 'negative energies' the world has accumulated (oppression, corruption etc) in order to make it a better place.
They are said to have indigo coloured auras and a sign of being one of these people is that you have a unsurpassable need to do great things in the world and to tear down the current systems and laws human society has put in place. They also seem to mention the feeling of being part of something necessary and much bigger than themselves.
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Have you looked into the indigo child phenomena? I personally don't know wether to believe it or not however what I read indicates that these people have been reincarnated into this world in order to cut down the 'negative energies' the world has accumulated (oppression, corruption etc) in order to make it a better place.
They are said to have indigo coloured auras and a sign of being one of these people is that you have a unsurpassable need to do great things in the world and to tear down the current systems and laws human society has put in place. They also seem to mention the feeling of being part of something necessary and much bigger than themselves.
Ok that's just creepy Oo I didn't know that Oo but I do always have the need to help others too Oo
you're scaring me xD Sadly enough, I can't see my aura
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Have you looked into the indigo child phenomena? I personally don't know wether to believe it or not however what I read indicates that these people have been reincarnated into this world in order to cut down the 'negative energies' the world has accumulated (oppression, corruption etc) in order to make it a better place.
They are said to have indigo coloured auras and a sign of being one of these people is that you have a unsurpassable need to do great things in the world and to tear down the current systems and laws human society has put in place. They also seem to mention the feeling of being part of something necessary and much bigger than themselves.
Ok that's just creepy Oo I didn't know that Oo but I do always have the need to help others too Oo
you're scaring me xD Sadly enough, I can't see my aura
Try placing a mirror opposite a blank white wall, then practice looking at spot between your eyes for about 30 seconds before trying to focus just infront of your face, use your peripherals to try and spot a area around your head and going down to your shoulders that's a little lighter or clearer than the rest of the area around you. I've found that closing your eyes after staring at that spot for 30 seconds can show you the general outline and colours of your aura.
Another method you can use is:
1) Get a book and cover it in Blue or Red paper. Stand it upright on a table several feet from you. Experiment with the distance until you find what is best for you. Make sure you have a plain neutral background. If the wall colour is wrong, hang a sheet of neutral coloured paper or cloth as a backdrop.
2) Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and relax. When you are calm, look at the book. Focus your eyes on nothing, a little to the side and past it. Gently hold and get used to that focus but don't strain your eyes or tense your eyes or forehead. Concentrate! you need a gentle, steady un-focus, similar to day-dreaming.
3) Once you have completed the first step, gather several books and cover them, each with a different coloured paper. Study these one at a time and write down the auric colour for it. Next try using two at a time, and watch how the auric colours affect each other.
4) Get a pot plant or some flowers and study it. The aura you will see emanates from the living plant and also from the colours of the petals. The Orange hue comes from the green of the stems and leaves. You will also see a more distinct etheric and a shimmering optical effect around them. This shimmering is the energy field or living aura of the plant.
While in the sun. Hold your arm out and study it against the sky or clouds. Alternatively, lie down and look at your legs. Make sure the skin is bare when you do this, and remember, grass will give off an Orange hue. the first thing you will see is the etheric aura, like pale smoke clinging to the skin. Next you will see the shimmering optical effect in the air extending from several inches to a couple of feet deep, depending on the strength of their aura. Keep trying and the aura's colour will build up, and out from, the etheric. It will first appear as a narrow band of colour next to the etheric. This will expand slowly, if you hold your focus, until it is several inches or more thick.
The reason you don't look directly at an aura is because your outer field of vision is much more sensitive than the focused area. Which is why many people see things out of the corner of their eye but when they focus it dissapears.
Good luck and definitely read up about the star seeds, in particular the Indigo generation. A lot of it is new age bull but the general idea is quite interesting, especially if you relate to it and can find good, well thought out sources.
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I'll try that now ^^
EDIT: I tried it and it's a blueish purple (violet) colour..., more blue than purple (violet) though. (so basicly I think it's indigo, but it could be a bit darker)
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I'll try that now ^^
EDIT: I tried it and it's a blueish purple (violet) colour..., more blue than purple (violet) though. (so basicly I think it's indigo, but it could be a bit darker)
Auras tend to be a mix of a few colours due to most personalities not fitting such a basic mold perfectly.
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I'll try that now ^^
EDIT: I tried it and it's a blueish purple (violet) colour..., more blue than purple (violet) though. (so basicly I think it's indigo, but it could be a bit darker)
Auras tend to be a mix of a few colours due to most personalities not fitting such a basic mold perfectly.
It was on a broken white surface and I didn't have an all to clear image of it either, I've been looking around the net and it still points out more to Indigo than Blue mixed with purple.
Though on some sites it is Blue mixed with purple, but those elements given along with them define what most other sites give to Indigo, so I'm quite confused.
Oh I've been checking again, my aura seems to have enormous fluctuations, I see blurry shapes waving away from my body, it's like a wave or a flame.
I'll be looking that up, but maybe you know what that means?
oh and above the indigo/blue-purple aura there is a glassy aura, which is making the fluctuations... like seeing the heat above a heater on a cold winter day...
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Update: it isn't Indigo, but a mixture of Blue and Red, I've been looking at it some more the last couple of days...
Sometimes I see a redish colour, sometimes a blueish in the Purple aura I see.
About the glassy distortion around it, I only see that when my ritaline is wearing of and when the loads of energy return, so I think it might be chakra escaping from my body?
It's pure speculation, but I think I'm correct.
Any other ideas of what that might be? Or if I'm correct or not?
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In what areas do you see red, blue and purple?
The colour on the right side is the energy being expressed, the energy you are projecting to the outside world. This is also determined by the colour surrounding the throat area. The color seen over your head is what you experience for yourself now. It's the color that would best describe you. If the color is high it could mean aspirations or what you wish to be. The color on the left side is normally the vibration coming into your being. The closer it is to you the sooner it will be felt within a few moments, hours or as long as a few months. This energy entering your being is also found around the heart area. The color on the solar plexus is normally the center vibration of your being. This is the center of self-esteem and ego.
(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f27/jabberwock_grenade/chakra.jpg)
The sexual center is the position from which one reaches out, expands and relates to others and the means whereby experiences are felt and registered, it's auric colour will reflect how you approach these things. The color of the root area is traditionally the energy of the physical plane and material reality. People with strong energy in this center usually have a red color and have good survival skills. This is also the center of manifestation. This is also the place from which passion flows, the source of power and ego development.
As you can see, there are many different areas encompassed by the aura and the presence of red, blue or purple in any of them could reflect a myriad of possible personality make-ups. The colour of your aura does not control who you are, who you are controls the colour of your aura. Therefore, a fluctuation of blue and red could be due to mood changes. However these 2 colours are quite different to each other and may be reflecting an inner turmoil between the needs of yourself (strong red) and the needs of others (strong blue). Purple is another colour entirely, however if you believe that the colour is caused by a mix of blue and red energy, then maybe in time as you 'pull yourself together' you may find that this purple dominates and in the end wins over the red and blue.
Due to the natural fluctuation of auric energy, it may seem like flames or a constantly moving light, I think this may also be due to red waves being much longer than blue waves, which would make them to seem much more seperated and exaggerate the transition from red to blue.
The glassy energy could either be a taint or as you say another form of energy. I have found that ADHD brings with it a speeding up of thought processes, those affected by it simply become overloaded by the things around them. The thing with glass is that the entire spectrum passes through it and seperates the colours, throws them everywhere. A little like thought processes when affected by ADHD, you take it in but instead of focusing, everything is getting thrown everywhere (in a sense). See where this glassy energy is most prevalent and focus on that chakra centre, by gaining more control over it, in turn maybe your condition will become more controllable.
I'm leaving Mon so this will be my last post about this. Good luck in the future Lex, I hope the info has helped.
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For the moment I only looked at my right hand and arm.
Thanks a lot Ryobi^^ You did help me out a lot^^ I found some sites on how to clear my chakra and learn to control it. I will be practising to control it from now on.
Good luck with where you're going (I think it's the Navy thing, right?)
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Ok, I've been meditating for about an hour now and when I focus on my aura now I see it sooner and I can see it isn't fluctuating anymore, it's streamlined going upwards my body in beautiful lines of red, blue and even yellow. I've never seen such a beautiful thing before, it was like the wind going over and around a streamlined car, it bended over my entire arm upwards in like a tri-color rainbow, almost no glassy waves anymore and no fluctuations ^^
I feel awesome, relaxed and at peace, and I haven't felt like this in ever!
I'm doing this more often now^^
Last posts can be made today, tomorrow (my time) I'll close this topic
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Muerte, i see you are educated in dark arts. What level did you reach if i may ask? Do you have your cult where people admire you or is it only the invisible people?
Yes I am educated in the occult (that's what drew me to this site after all, if you hadn't noticed, it's sort of the theme here), because I have taken the time to study it for my own reasons. I do not have a "level", that kind of crap is for those who need the structure stupidity like that provides.
Cult? That implies that I need others to lead in order to confirm my own existence, I do not, everyone here already knows that I consider the vast majority of society to be a colossal waste of time.
I will never offer to lead anyone anywhere, I have better things to do than baby sit. I will offer advice to those who ask based off of my own research and experiences, what they do with the advice is up to them.
Now I need to finish reading this post to see what else there is of importance to try and deal with here. Oh and btw, I was asked to play nice with you for a while so I shall do so, but I will advise you to please not push me too far dear, my patience is less than infinite, and my sense of humor is nil.
Edit.
No need to read further, Ryobi has this well in hand, again a great job Ryobi.