[ravinclaw]

Ok, this is the first true glimps of my creativity I have granted my friends here at Monstrous.
I have told few here I write songs, music, lyrics all of it, this poem started as a song, but has been modefied, and when I say modefied what I mean is riped apart where only the true meaning remains but here it is and feel free to criticize, and be as harsh as you wish, you know I can take it.



as I stare through Deaths cold gaze,
at visions crystal clear
I walk miles through thick blue haze,
across the shores of fear.

In the heart of darkness stare
shadows tend to fade,
feal the wicked breath of air,
and see the glory fade,

hate shall stay my one true friend
and vengence my true alli,
in the dark you meet your end,
and some will surely die.

but in the end what will you say,
where will you hide from me,
your heart your soul Ive come to take,
I am your destiny.

[ravinclaw]

Oh.... and feal free to post anything you wrote too,
but none of that mushey s**t unless it has a dark twist.

[Andrea Warfare]

Great work

[KubeSix]

Why did I not read this earlier?

That poem's left me staring at my screen with a gaping mouth for a few seconds The last two paragraphs were the best, imo. Great work, Ravin. Wow, really, I can't get over how good it is XD I just keep re-reading it I might pick up poetry, who knows, I haven't written a poem for a long time, tho...

[ravinclaw]

thanks guys, I may write another one now that I know someone actually read it.

[KubeSix]

Please do!  (I might start a poetry thread myself, who knows...)

[Ryobi]

Sweet as work bro. Loved the ending, was wondering what it was building up to. Really strong structure as well, worked like a charm.

[lockesk]

i liked the whole thing although i dident expect the ending

[Kadesh]

 I really liked that. I might suggest you remove a couple unnecessary words just to make it stronger and the meaning more clear, but it's still good stuffz. 

[ravinclaw]

yeah, I see what you mean,

thats the first poem I ever wrote without being forced

I wrote one in english class once about smoking weed.....
the teacher was anoid as hell, but I got an A anyway.
along with a note to my mom, but I dont smoke any more.
and if I did I wouldnt tell

[Kadesh]

 I stopped writing for a few years during and after HS. The teachers were so negative and critical of my stuff, that I just didn't see a reason to keep going. And smoking weed... I never have, never will.... but I don't think it's something horrible. You just need to be smart about it.

[Andrea Warfare]

I haven't smoked in almost 3 years.It never made me a couch potato but made me want to do things instead.After I stopped,I realized that I didn't need weed to be creative and it didn't need to enhance the movie I was about to watch because if it was good it would be good on its own..kind of like eating a steak and not needing the A1 sauce,haha.

[ravinclaw]

well, in one way, its not as bad as drinking, Ive done way more stupit s**t when drunk than when stoned, but on the other hand, it can open doors to worse things, Ive seen it hapen to some of my friends.

say no to drugs kiddies, no good will come from it, I know from experience.

[Kadesh]

 Lol... As an asthmatic, you can be sure I'll stay far away from it. The only thing is, I love the smell of it. If someone has it, I always want to sniff it. 

[Andrea Warfare]

Yeah it smells really earthy